Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts

Death to humility?

Hello 2015 and hello all :) *waves*

 The posts have been slow in coming thanks to a drain on the mojo (hello work “motivation”) and a dearth of visitors in the sandbox. Talk about being a social butterfly! The usual year-end blooper post will have to come later, this time I’m building up to an observation.

 Case in point: With so much self-promotion, self-declaration and whatnot perpetuated social media, are we all losing our sense of grace? Are we killing humility (like poor ol' Smoochy) in the effort to trumpet our successes at every turn?

 No matter where you turn, Jimmy is telling you about his great life, Sally is showing off her new body or Sammy is showing you just how wonderful a person he is. Even our bosses are hopping onto the bandwagon "if you don't keep trumpeting your successes, who will know what you've done?".. uh how about you? The person we report to? Or are you too busy claiming credit instead? ;) Celebrating accomplishments is one thing, going overboard and shouting from the rooftops about how great you are, how without you, the office will never be able to function and how wonderful your life is, is sickening. Enough already!

 This raises another issue. Because everyone is so bloody busy, would anyone take notice of your accomplishments? Is that why you have to constantly promote and market ourselves just to be seen or even heard? 

 While I believe that technology and social media are great, they are oftimes the source of countless problems. If we all took the chance to unplug ourselves from our phones, computers and devices, we could actually get somewhere. Firstly, we would stop envying everyone else. 

 We will start appreciating the little things again, being kind, learning to be socially adept with people and to actually see people for who they are. It’s true that we can’t help bragging from time to time but let’s tone it down, ok? If we all took a step back and dialed things down, we will star becoming ourselves again, instead of succumbing to what everyone says, or thinks… or even worse, what some reality star opines. 

 Maybe I am just a cynic but I feel that you aren't truly great unless your accomplishments are given third-party validation. And by that, I don’t mean being validated by one of your personas. I mean being genuinely praised and recognized for a job well-done. The days of sincere compliments are few and far between. In the rush to be seen as being ‘great” we often praise false idols while neglecting true heroes. 

 I don’t know what the world is coming or how people will continue to behave but I can say one thing. We need to stop trying to be “great” because

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Five months into... rehab-cercise

It’s been almost a year since the last pesky knee injury and finally some great news :) The road to recovery was fraught with laziness and a general lack of discipline (damn you!) But eventually, persistence, the threat of injections and an operation has somehow worked.

I have to admit that once the initial pain was dealt with, it took me longer to understand that my problems need long-term work. My problem is slightly unique, if not a bit baffling. Apparently, all the years of dancing, competitive sports, exercise classes and performing has taken a toll. What’s funny is that my body has become so used to a high amount of activity that it demands these activities be kept up! Lack of follow through on my part will result in reigniting old injuries, aches and all sorts of pains. Isn’t that wonderful?

Real Pilates: Home of great teachers
and challenging classes 
Attempts of slothery (is that even a word?) now aborted, I had to restart something. Trying to work out in the gym at the apartment was thwarted because, surprise – the elliptical damned near wrenched the knee. It became too hot to swim and the impact from Zumba was more jarring that helpful. Good grief. Thankfully, my really cool physio, Jac came to the rescue, suggesting I go back to Pilates and to keep that knee working, try Xtend Barre.

Whomever thought that Xtend Barre was easy is completely nuts. It is a mix of mat pilates, barre exercises combined with weights, toning balls and resistance. To me, it almost feels like my ballet classes of yore, minus leaping about like a goat. Five months into what I dub as rehab-cercise, and I’m up to three classes a week (mix of Xtend, mat and reformers), plus a session of foam rolling every day. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve slowly inched back into salsa social. The result? I am mostly pain free! YAY!

Photo care of Ems Pen
My little trick to maintain up all this is simple. I do it on my own. That way, I only have myself to blame if things aren’t up to speed. I’m not one of those people who need to have friends around when I work out, so the routine has been great. I get a nice workout and some me time. And the results have shown… no I’m not on my way to a six-pack, but my fitness is up, as is core strength and stamina. So is cardio and being mildly vain, I’ve tweaked parts of my diet so that my body can keep up. Oh and the drinks are still there, I haven’t gone completely mad!

The lesson learnt is simple. Self-discipline and persistence is essential. Not every exercise is for you, neither are fad diets nor going with a crowd. For me, staying healthy means being active, which meant finding exercises that are challenging yet strengthening. It has taken some time to figure out how my body works and what it needs but it has paid off. Oh, I look better too but you’re not going to see a damned selfie…*rolls eyes*

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Confessions of a crazy couch potato

I haven’t been a serious couch potato in years, partly due to work, dance and having a resistance for being cooped up. But for some reason over the last year or so, I’ve gravitated back towards TV shows with a vengeance.

Some call it lacking a social life, I call it having the space to watch whatever the heck I want, anytime I want… but I digress.

Who knew a series about a drug dealing teacher would be so cool? Or that a brilliant FBI profiler could have so much in common with a serial killer? Who the hell would be interested in watching a series about two detectives and their lives and not on the case at hand? Apparently, lots of folks.

The appetite for more character and story driven shows have changed drastically. Instead of simply indulging in escapism fluff, more people are turning to solidly written shows. I for one, relish this. It is refreshing to see writers take center stage in developing stories that are far bolder today than before. I can safely say that I’ve learned more about the stages of sex, how viral infections evolve and the role of nature vs nurture in cloning that I ever set out to know.

But it’s not just dramatic shows, comedy writing has also evolved beyond the slapstick and snarky one-liners to tug at viewers' heartstrings. I love how characters and all their flaws are showcased sot that they become more realistic and are not just a caricature. How the writers and actors bring the intangible to life is beyond me. It feels like books have finally come alive, with so much detail in play. But hey, it makes one heck of a potatoship experience!

And so what on earth have I been watching? Here are my 10 picks: 
  1. Hannibal
  2. Masters of Sex
  3. House of Cards
  4. Orphan Black
  5. True Detective
  6. Orange is the New Black
  7. The Mindy Project
  8. Veep
  9. The Strain
  10. Hello ladies
 To one and all, happy watching and try to please go for a walk once in a while! :) 

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10! .. And then some

And so, after many years of higgling and piggling, with some kicking and screaming and a certain amount of rebelliousness thrown in, I have done it.

Don’t get excited now, I haven’t learnt how to drive yet.

Remember that Top 10 movie list? I did one about the films that I haven’t seen sometime last year but here… HERE is the list that is close to my heart. These are films that sparked off my imagination and set me on a lifelong interest in the Ok, in no order whatsoever…

Try not to keel over yet again, ok? LOL
  1. The Untouchables To me, this was one of Brian De Palma’s best, with quotes that have resonated with me until today. It’s a life lesson on doing what you believe is right, at any cost.
  2. Dangerous Liaisons So these are the games that high society people play to entertain themselves? Who gets hurt in the process doesn’t matter as long as you trump your rival. I equally loved and hated this movie which exposed the manipulative minds of people and that sometimes, your closest ‘friends’ are not your friends at all.
  3. Star Wars Ep V: The Empire Strikes Back The entire trilogy was amazing but this was the one I remembered the most. Above the storyline, this movie sparked my imagination and inner geek. The battle of Hoth with those Imperial AT-AT Walkers? Mind blowing. I really, really wanted to work in a VFX studio where I wanted to breathe life into the most fantastical monsters, robots and creatures. Woot!
  4. Raiders of the Lost Ark Who knew that archeologists could be cool? There was crazy adventure, you learned some history and of course, the best theme park ride I have ever seen. It introduced the concept of the battle worn hero what could think on his feet and wasn’t easily defeated no matter what was thrown at him.
  5. Farewell My Concubine  When I first watched this film, I was weeping in the cinema. I learned that relationships are a messy thing and what people will do when circumstances forbid them. I loved the music, its characters and the colors. Its director; Chen Kaige is a film maker who is unafraid of telling stories. And then there was Chinese cinema’s pretty boy, Leslie Cheung, in the role of a lifetime.
  6. Amelie from forbidden romance to one that is quirky and inventive. It showed me that while you can make people around you happy, you also need to take care of yourself.  Life and love doesn’t have to conform to the dictates of society. Love can be beautiful if you can let people or that special someone in. For once, a French auteur wasn’t depressing and that was refreshing to me.
  7. Infernal Affairs I love Asian cinema not just because I grew up with them but it introduced me to a genre of film-makers and characters that were larger than life, where heroism was not black and white but most importantly, they had storylines that gave cinemagoers the leeway to discuss and ponder what happened, not just giving them a simple ending. This was to me, the far superior film that not even Martin Scorsese could top. It was taut and exciting with a keen sense of danger at all times.
  8. Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow To me, Jackie Chan was my Kung-fu hero growing up. Always the underdog, always being bullied and always very funny. There is just something so down-to-earth about him that sets him apart from other kung-fu heroes. I cannot tell you how many times my sister and I watched this growing up… or how much we wanted to have a crazy kung-fu teacher. LOL
  9. Pete’s Dragon I love dragons in all its incarnations. What I love even more? Silly, hand-drawn cartoons with a lot of heart, songs and being happy. And roasted apples. It wasn’t slick, it was cheesey but it was also one of the first animated films I saw and it has stuck in my mind ever since. Goes to show that the medium may have evolved but you remember the things that you grew up with, the most.
  10. Se7en So according to the traditional blockbuster formula, movies must have, action, hunky heroes, a feel-good factor and of course a happy ending. This movie, turned everything on its head and worse of all? The heroes here DON’T WIN. Whhhahaatttt??!! And the villain was uncredited. Who the hell was that? And what the hell happened? Just that fact alone made me and many viewers watch this movie more than once.
Special mention goes to the movie, Pendekar Bujang Lapok (The Three Bachelor Warriors) which was a comedy that was shot by the legendary P. Ramlee in Singapore back in 1959. As much as I loved the Python movies, this was the one that kicked it off for me. How on earth do you make something as mundane as the life of three bachelors into a classic comedy that combined songs, fighting, the supernatural and still showcased life in a kampung? Just ask any mambang (spirit)… LOL
And there you go my Top 10 list. It is one that is highly personal, where most of the films mean a lot me. They inspired the way I write, what I love and how I see things. Just as in life, I don’t really give a fig about what’s popular, as long as it means something to me. 

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Simplicity, it's not that complicated

A wise man once said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Why, I cannot agree more, Confucius.

As we journey along our lives, I increasingly feel that we place too much importance on the material, the shallow; how much status we have, how big our egos are and what people think about us. How utterly tiring and mundane! What happened to just living life simply, to being honest to ourselves about what we want and how we want to live our lives?

It is so easy to fall into the trappings of society’s demands that we lose sight of what we truly want and how to pursue it. We cleave to the rules set out by strangers who feel that achieving all we can is limiting or that if you achieve too much or even deign to celebrate your achievements it stands to make others jealous or insecure. There is so much red tape, expectations and ground rules… What. The. Hell?

We forget the simple things; that we need to connect with people recharge us emotionally. We lose sight of the things that truly make us happy in order to pursue yet another material gain or obsession. Learning or facing challenges are not things to hide from but to embrace in order to grow, spiritually, emotionally and physically. We need to remember that being happy is not something you achieve alone. It is something that also reaches out to touch others, making us feel alive, loved and also appreciated.

Do you remember what it’s like to spend time with people who listen, hold and talk to you without judgment? Or to sit at your favorite coffee shop to sip that fresh brew while you catch up on the news or even chat with other patrons?

When I was home recently, it was refreshing to let go of all societal nonsense just to be with my friends and family. The mask that I put on for people who hardly know, yet judge me was chucked aside. I am free again, I can feel again and most importantly I am me.  Holding up that mask is strenuous! My question to you is, when do you fling that aside so that you can just breathe?

In experiencing this, I’ve decided to look at things slightly differently. I will focus on things that make me happy… whether it is just telling someone I love them or just talking to the people who matter the most, it is the authenticity of the experience that makes me feel alive. I will not hide from who I am but will approach life with the vivacity that I would like to achieve. I believe that you find yourself when you embrace things at a more simple level. When you cut out the complications, you can truly live. Andddd…. If all that fails, just pick up a mike and karaoke LOL :)

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Celebrating a year in the life

Come to think of it, this year was pretty darned exciting. It was a year of learning to overcome new challenges. I moved to a new country, made new friends, got stranded by the very same company that hired me, worked my ass off, cut a dead relationship and toxic people off from my life, learned that people change along with their political alliances and that friends, no matter where you are, will always support you and be there for you.

‘Finding yourself’ is not just a stupid term coined by people with a hollow self-fulfilling prophesy. You just need the time and space to do it. Space to breathe, take in where you are and realize that things aren't so bad after all... You can DO this!

There were a few firsts: went on secret booze runs, learned how to ski, that great paragliding attempt, moved into the world’s most Spartan house, went travelling with my sister, saw more of the Middle East and actually quite liked it, and welcomed both friends and family to the new crib.
How the hell do you cram everything into one damned collage? LOL
And with the good, came the challenges. I guess that being more gung-ho than your average schmo, I was always up for a new challenge. Stepping outside of a comfort zone is never easy. I made a decision and then jumped straight in. Was it the best decision I ever made? Let me get back to you on that…  I have to confess that it brought about one of the biggest frustrations ever. For a foreigner in this country, I was faced with the most unhelpful people who refused to step even an inch out of their designated work scope. Everyone was too mired in their own bureaucratic bullshit to realize that hey, the person you hired doesn't know how things work – this shit is new *rolls eyes* Get over yourselves, people!

Professionally, I quickly remembered what it was like to work in-house. To succeed means to be able to successfully navigate political landmines in order to deliver what you are hired for: the work. At times it feels like I am both the conductor and the musician in an orchestra. You just want to kick everyone and yell, WAKE THE FUCK UP! That said I realized that the woman who used to so readily agree to things is no longer. While there are no stupid ideas, at least come with one that can be executed in a reasonable way.

In terms of new adventures and people. Zumba became part of my new regimen, while social dancing introduced me to more dancers and I continued to feed my wanderlust. New friends remain in the same vein as the old ones, boozy, mouthy and full of surprises. It is just cool to find people with a similar sense of fun or silliness that you can just hang out with. Hail to banditry and shenanigans!

Checking out Jordan, Oman and Abu Dhabi 
Of banditry and shenanigans
On a personal note, I found that when you take chances, sometimes good things happen. It opens your heart to new experiences or even a new people. While I won’t go into details on the blog, close friends should know what I am talking about. Maybe it is because I shed unrealistic expectations and baggage, maybe I just happened to be at the right place at the right time, maybe I am ready to move forward. Who knows? I am ever thankful for all the good, the bad and the challenges.

And so, here’s my wish to you for the New Year


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That Untouchable lesson

Just like the Hitchhiker, who has a guide to the galaxy, I too have a guide of sorts.  It may be a little quirky but it comes from one of my favourite movies of all time, The Untouchables. The scene is set in a church where Kevin Costner’s Elliott Ness gets a bit of a life lesson from Sean Connery’s Jimmy Malone over what he can expect in taking down Al Capone.


Long after the movie’s ended the questions that resonate were:  What are you prepared to do? And then what are you prepared to do?

As a PR professional, it struck me that our job never really ends. It is not something where we can simply clock out at 6pm. Whether we like it or not, we are always on call. Because when you do get that call, what are you prepared to do? And then what are you going to do next? Sure, you can provide a placeholder or delay until you’ve dug up the information needed or found the right decision makers but your job is always to respond and provide a feasible solution first. You never pick up the phone without a prepared response to the issue at hand.

But what about just conveying that information? It’s all fine and dandy to pass the buck to the next decision-maker but then, where is your true value? What do you bring to the table that makes your expert opinion count? Over the years, I’ve encountered many PR pros, managers or even bosses who are great at articulating their vision or providing the right response. However, the people who truly deliver value in the business are the ones who can walk the talk. PR is not just about improving perception or delivering that corporate message. It is also about validating that talk with what you are doing to get the desired result. The bottom line is, if you can put your money where your mouth is, I will respect you that much more.

It is not something that comes by easily, trust me. Sometimes even I struggle in the delivery and need encouragement or backup. Being in the industry for so long, you see so many people who are wowed by smooth talkers. It’s hilarious, really. You’d think that after awhile, people will look beyond the veneer and start questioning? Ha. Ha. Ha.

But what I believe is this: to be successful and respected, you need to be able to rise to the occasion and deliver on your promises. That is the only way of delivering true value. 

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Frustrated Incorporated? Stop it!

“They say misery loves company, we could start a company and make misery, Frustrated Incorporated…,” thank you, Soul Asylum. You've summed up these few weeks perfectly.

Who doesn't complain about work? Even if it is your dream job, at one point of time or another, there will definitely be something to bitch about. But when deadlines are looming, the higher-ups are breathing down your neck, you have events coming out of your wazoo, you need to call journalists who are halfway around the world, you are tied to your desk and work keeps adding and adding… what the hell do you do?

Firstly, you DO NOT…under any circumstances, freak out all over everyone else or let yourself go mad. Yes, I know the pressure is to deliver (no, you are not the only one who has to deliver), to go-go-go but its times like these where you are also most likely to make the biggest mistakes. Experience and also highly detailed and anal bosses have taught me that there is always time to take that crucial step back, breathe and re-focus, not lose focus or run around like a headless chicken.

What, BUT I HAVE NO TIME! Before you start going mad, get up, take a walk around the room, and go have a coffee, just do something else. Then, come back, pull out a fresh sheet of paper or pull up a blank screen and:
  • Jot down a to-do list – be as detailed as possible. What do you need really to do? Email someone, send out a document, or review material?
  • Put plausible deadlines next to them – don’t be an idiot and say NOW when it really means that you can send it in a few hours or the next day
  • Prioritize your list – Which piece of work needs the most attention? Which are the ones that can be knocked out of the park with minimal effort?
  • Now, for the hardest part. DELIVER on your deadlines. If you tell someone you will send them something by noon, DO it. Nothing kills your credibility faster than a missed deadline. If you can’t deliver on time, give them a call. Explain the delay. Don’t just fob off any ‘ol excuse and expect them to accept it. Chances are their schedule is as crazy as yours too.
Notice I didn't say delegate? Because, you can only delegate so much. Ultimately, you are personally responsible for every item on your list. Not someone else. Greatness comes in delivering what is promised and performing beyond expectations.

I totally get it when we miss deadlines and are frazzled when the madness just becomes bigger and bigger. Being quick to learn and adapt is a skill. But don’t forget to breathe. Breathing and just taking a quick break to re-focus helps tremendously.

It's easy to be part of Frustrated Incorporated but your job is to overcome the challenges, not succumb to it. Walk the talk!

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I like it like that

Let me set the record straight. Since moving to Dubai, I enjoy staying on my own and doing things by myself. Hanging out at home is actually comfortable and even cleaning my house can be fun (ha! My mother would love to hear me say that in person!). The one thing that I certainly never done whether here or back home is  keep thinking of things to do, pile my days and nights with endless activities or have a packed social calendar to feel ‘busy’. I am able to find little projects or hang out with people who do not stress me out. I like that.

Do I get bored or restless? Hell yes, then I simply think of something to do and get to it. If I can enlist an accomplice to share my little adventure, all the better! Otherwise I just do it on my own. It’s odd how sometimes doing things on your own can be freeing. You have the freedom to make mistakes and simply let yourself go. It’s also a more humbling experience where there is no posturing or showboating. That’s why I started taking dance and fitness classes on my own. I don’t need to rely on others or blame others if they can’t make a session. The responsibility falls solely on me. I'm ok with that and focusing on what I’m there to do.

In doing this, I sometimes miss having a friend to talk to, laugh and discuss things with. But then again, why not talk to the people around me? Isn’t that how you meet new people and widen your social circle? I guess it’s easier for me to talk to people partly because of the job I do. Talking to strangers, whether they are business associates, CEOs, journalists, vendors or even the man on the street is a matter of perspective adjustment. For me, not everyone can be a friend or is. Interactions are always a very personal choice.

In dealing with homesickness (rarely) and missing my family and friends, there is always Skype and WhatsApp or the ever reliable Facebook. I’ve relied on these tools more often now that I am away. However, there is always that personal sense of closeness that I never lose sight of. No matter where my family or friends are, we always take the time to connect and support each other. I also grew up with friends and family who had their own lives and I respect that. No one likes a cling-on!

So bottom line is this: I like where I am now emotionally; having room to think about what I need, who I want in my life and am taking steps to achieve it, as well as physically; ok, the weather can be less bloody sweltering and some people need to take a smart pill, but still. The independence is gratifying and I am slowly discovering new things about myself, my environment and a circle of friends here. That to me, the a great start towards new adventures :)

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Don’t be a f@#$ing lazy arse, realize your dream!


Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was a writer. To me words are not just meaningless alphabets strung together. Alphabets make words, words make sentences that convey meaning, and sentences form stories that lead you on adventures, make you all in love, help you paint pictures in your mind and also build a career. 

There was only one problem with this grand plan. How the hell do I get it?

I know what it’s like to sit and dream about things. The problem with that is they only remain dreams. Therefore, at the tender age of about seven, I decided to take things into my own hands (yes, even as a kid, I was an action-driven thing). I started reading all sorts of books and way before it became fashionable, I start keeping a journal. I wrote stories, plotted the demise of my enemies and escaped out of crazy family drama. I ranted and raged! I still do it today, heh

As I matured, I looked for jobs that allowed me to expand my writing capabilities. I moved from administrative roles to internal corporate comms and to agency life.  I learnt more about government relations and corporate messaging, delved into engineering, food & nutrition, pharmaceuticals and technology. I learnt more about storage and pure systems that I liked. Most importantly, I learnt about whom I was and what I would like to do. Mentors have taught me that the road to a career doesn’t simply stop once you embark on a certain path. You need to constantly keep up with trends, be curious, network (no, not just go out and get drunk), be in-tuned with the news and general happenings and just be ‘with it’.  You always need to be hungry for the next thing, you need the appetite to learn and be challenged by what you find.

My journey to being a writer has evolved towards being someone who crafts messages that are aimed at changing the way we perceive certain products, people and ideals. I’m not simply a ‘writer’ but in some ways, I am.  

This is probably why I am always annoyed by friends who keep asking what they need to get the perfect career. I’m annoyed when people ask me to recommend interesting jobs. Why? Because I don’t know what you bloody want! What is interesting to me may not appeal to you. Then we both think the other is useless. 

Instead of having lots of useless conversations, I’d encourage them to define their needs in the most specific way. Don’t just write your dream down. Pen the steps that you need to take to get there: 
  • Write down your attributes – what are your strengths? What do you do well? Do a top 5 list. 
  • What do you like to do? In terms of work, are you a skilled organizer, number cruncher, events whiz? Do you know a lot of people?
  • What are your top fields to work in? Pick the top 3. No, we can’t all work for Google. Do some research!
  • How do you go about getting what you want? Do you need to start at the bottom? Get an additional degree? Who do you talk to?
Today’s post is a long one but one that was inspired by another friend. Thanks for making me think about my journey to where I am today.

Oh, and you know what I wanted to be as a little girl? I wanted to be a novelist ;)

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Can cook, won't starve!

When we were growing up, my grandmother was hell bent on us kids learning how to cook. It's not just a 'take care of the family thing' no, according to grandma, if you can't cook, you might as well not live.

These bibiks, so bloody dramatic. Haha...

But then again, if she wasn't or my mum didn't bother, I'd be starving here. The funny thing about Dubai is that this place is so new, so modern, so bright and so shiny that they have no street food culture. While they do have all the food courts (and some that serve really good food) and of course, world class restaurants, there is no decent place that serves the food I grew up with. Wait. Let me rephrase...they probably do but they'd also charge an arm and a leg for something really simple to make. So what the hell does a girl do to satisfy some home food cravings?
From top left (clockwise): mee goreng, ayam pongteh (I am part Peranakan after all), the great SG cookout and carrot cake with my first crack at self-made frosting. It wasn't half bad! 
Well, apparently, if you want something. You really, really want something... you make it at yourself. The great thing about Dubai is that they have good raw ingredients. Sure, you have to make sure you don't pick some exhorbitant exported mushrooms but otherwise, the grocery stores are pretty decent. And they have really, really good meat. So making steaks, stews and casseroles are not a problem.

The slight problem comes when you are looking for condiments. There is almost no fermented soya beans (tao cheo), hardly any hey bee (dried prawns) and sambal (ground chili paste) is totally foreign unless you make it yourself. I was over the moon when my fellow Singaporean took me to a Japanese supermarket that had soba sauce, fresh miso and that superb Japanese mayonnaise. Mmmmm...

The great Japanese experiment (from top left, clockwise): miso soup, cold soba noodles and pan fried miso tuna steak. Heaven!
Sure, there are some Singaporean delis or Thai supermarkets out here but you have to hunt them down, which can be a real pain the the ass. So I cheat and either get people to buy some of my condiments OR I make them. Making stuff like sambal or paste for your food is really easy. You just need some time to look for the ingredients and be willing to peel, prep and chop for half a day. Ok, I exaggerate. You need about 2 hours. Heh.

Thus far, I've only made the paste for the chili crab which we made for what we termed, the Great Singapore Cookout. If anything, Dubai can be pretty funny. On the day we deceided to make chili crab, the supermarkets that we went to, all three of them, happened to run out of fresh red chilis *facepalm* so freaking annoying! Lesson learned... you can use fresh chili padi as a substitute but you have to make sure that you remove all the seeds before hand. Oh and have lots of tomato sauce on stand by.
Chili crab...all you need, is the right chilis
Next time, I'm going to be a good bibik and grind up a whole pot of chili paste, or whatever paste and keep it in the fridge, for kicks. Just so that I have the right paste when I need it for my dishes.  Growing up in such a food-crazy household has certainly made its mark on me :) There is always substitution but then again, when you have the right paste or ingredients on-hand, cooking is so much easier.

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How about being struck by lightning again?

And so, it’s back to being singleton again. For some reason, this time it doesn’t feel as bad. I went from being very upset to really angry and then…nothing.
 
On the other hand, the eventual apathy is nothing new. Even when coupled up, he was always busy or too busy or travelling and I continued with my dancing, work and friends. The thing that really stuck in my craw in the end was: If he can stay things that are true to himself, then why can’t I say mine and get an acknowledgement or a decent argument out of it? So much for communication... pfft. More like two idiots just blabbering with no one listening.  The thing that probably galled him was that I didn’t just want to sit around wondering, I dumped him. That is me, being true to myself.  

Through my rather checkered dating history I’ve learnt a few important things: 
  • If you don’t stand up for what you believe in, no one else will do it for you. It’s not about being selfish and only wanting your end of things but making a point. Then hopefully coming to some sort of compromise that both parties can live with

  • If things are worth fighting for then do it. If there is no fight or you just grunt and give in. It doesn’t mean that things are ok. It just means that you end up resenting each other over time

  • Things are your fault too. A part of what happened is my fault. I let things carry on, I talked things over with him with the hope that I would get through. In the end, I learned that he is holding on to an idea or rather ideal that neither me, nor anyone else can crack.
Through it all, I feel like I came out with the knowledge and strength that I can do better. I deserve better. The strong part of the relationship taught me a lot about myself and who I am. What I can accept and what I can’t. Now that I have these values, it’s not something that is simply discarded but to be worked into part of my psyche.  

From top left, clockwise: the great goulash experiment, paragliding, check out the sandstorm, ayam masak merah and some party animals
These couple of weeks has been pretty darned good, actually. There’s been experimental cooking, the unavoidable cleaning, liver pickling, constantly improving the salsa dancing, making new friends, the great paragliding attempt (I made it off the ground for a soft launch!), mad karaoke singing and learning new things about my colleagues and friends here. Broadband at home paved the way for virtual tours of my house to close friends and family as well as new, addictive TV series’ J Oh and did I mention a sandstorm and tremors that I and everyone in Dubai survived?  

I guess I’m staying on this path for a while longer, it's a happy path :) oh and can someone get me this for my house, please?
 
 

 

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Dr Strange in the observatory

The three-month mark is fast approaching and the feelings that I have about the move have been mixed. Work has been a mix of totally crazy/ mysterious/ demanding/ irrational/ passive aggressive/ exhilarating.  Don’t get me wrong. It’s been mad but fun and I love challenges and coming up with solutions to tackle them. For me, work is about pushing the boundaries on things; you have to push to constantly improve and progress. I am here because the challenge to turn around a company is pretty thrilling. For someone who is deemed ‘foreign talent’, it is not simply about doing a job, it is putting your money where your mouth is. Do you deserve the status and pay?
 
The pros are that the higher-ups have noted the change and the hard work we’re putting in. There’s appreciation. However, pushing is not a something one accomplishes alone or in a duo. There seems to be a bit of a tug-of-war going on, where on one side, you have people who are keen to band together to make new breakthroughs. On the other hand, there is a bunch of people who are so set in their ways and resistant to change or new ideas that it totally drives you bonkers. It was a harsh reality-check to learn that the industry was surprised that we are still around. Ouch.
 
At times I wonder, how the hell will we all survive this? Oftimes, it feels like people believe that they are irreplaceable. This used to be old way of thinking in pre-recession Singapore and look at the job fallout from the financial crisis. Cushy jobs gone in a thrice, long-term service was retired in favor of hungrier people who performed better, simple jobs were taken by harder working people who earned far less and the top of the crop became even more prized. To really implement change, there needs to be some serious ass-kicking all round!
 
This is not the first company that I’ve been a part of that has undergone change. In the past, both of the in-house roles that I’ve worked in dealt with organizational changes on a global level. The difference is that the companies chose to handle change more progressively and positively. They brought in professional consultants and worked really hard to instill the message that change is essential for growth. Both the messages and management were fundamental drivers that walked the talk from inside, out. Because of this, the staff started to embrace the changes positively. There is a feeling in the air that things will work out and they did.


Yea, right
But not here, or maybe not yet. It still feels like change is something to be checked off a list. Sometimes, you just want to grab hold of people and give them a hard shake while yelling: You are not a robot! There is no such thing as accepting a half-change! Quit whingeing, embrace change and MAKE IT WORK! It can be extremely frustrating at times. 
 
Frustrated? Yes. Challenged? Yes. But then again, we’re in early days yet. I still have tricks up my sleeve. Let’s see how far I get before I thwack someone over the head for being a complete moron. At the rate some people are going, that day may come sooner than you think ;)
 
I also came across a few interesting posts that I think somewhat complement this week's nugget:

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Breaking out to get into the new

After a while, or rather, an age, I realize that people tend to grow attached to one form of music or another. Yes, that is you West Coast Swing DJs! Not everyone, just a few guilty ones. *death glare* you know who you are.
Lost in a moment...Heh
Regardless of the decade you grew up in, everyone has a music tell.
 
People around my parents’ age have music that range from the Beach Boys, Barry Manilow, DeepPurple, Elvis, to the Rolling Stones or Led Zepplin for the more rebellious. Which brings me to the point of this post – what is your music tell and how the hell do you break new music in?
 
You don’t have one? Tsk, tsk... What song pops into your head when you’re stressed or need something to sing to or are driving? A lot of people turn to the music that they grew up to and that is the music that often soothes them. A lot of dancers I know have a few pieces that they practice to, but that’s it. Once they are out of the practice room, they actually listen to a lot of music to prep choreography, incorporate different styles add flavor to their pieces.
 
Not many people actually break out of the musical genres that they love. I am guilty of this too. A child of the 80s, I grew up in a family that loved live music, Motown, rock, blues and slick funkadelic sounds. Music was about the beat, groove and voices that influenced generations of musicians and audiophiles. 
 
I loved and still love all my pop confections. They grew into a love for the 80s rockers, the gravelly angst of grunge and then in the 90s it was hello Britpop and where the hell did all these awesome bands come from? There were the happy-sounding beats but what made it so different was the lyrics were smart. There was no ‘I’m so lonesome I could die’, instead it was about girls who liked boys who need girls who are boys or boys who wanted to wear my face like you, Shiseido MAC and Maybelline and OMG, Take That! A boy band with a member who actually wrote their lyrics. Damn! Thanks to friends, I let more influences in by attending a shitload of concerts and musicals. I also briefly worked for a local music outlet whose staff resembled the staff in Empire Records. The HighFidelity characters where what we eventually grew up to be. Some of us still make mixed tapes, we have lists for almost every mood and some of us can only express our feelings through the songs of others, because, who else can be as eloquent?
 
But breaking out of our staid musical cycles is a journey of discovery. Only you will know what you like…I tried several times to get into the Radiohead madness but all I liked were three or four songs. I can’t fathom dance music and all its different genres, some country makes me glassy eyed and classical music, let’s not go down there. 

 
To break out of your cycle, I’d suggest listening to as many different types of artists that you can. Spread yourself out to different genres, ask your friends what they like and see if you like it too. Who knows what you’ll find? I found artists like Florence + the Machine, Mumford & Sons and M83. Recently, I've recently rediscovered my love for blues and am tracking down some new artitsts.
 
So, don’t get stuck in a rut. Try some new music today. Just like this fella...


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It’s been quite a while, baby!

And yet, it doesn’t feel like so long. Have you ever been in situations like that?
The past year was a bit of a mixed bag. It was the year of discovery for me. Learning about who I was and what sort of person I can be under all sorts of situations. I am lucky to have found someone who has stuck with me through this all. Now, now, don’t faint. A girl is entitled to have her romances and yes, keep it to herself. I’d just like to credit him for helping me through all this. He’s kept me sane and worked through a lot of the bullshit. He didn’t freak or run. And because he is such a stellar guy, added to some of my stress. You damned man! But for all that it is, Thank You *Hugs*

Dancing went to a totally new dimension. I am really lucky to be dancing with really awesome salsa team. The DanceUnlimited journey was demanding and has taken us from freakish amateurs to performers who danced at some of the best festivals around the region. 
 

Those costumes! Gah!

From China, to Thailand to India, we just got better and better and yes, the costumes, skimpier. Any self-esteem issues that I had earlier are much diminished! There is never a dull moment when these guys are around and some of our shenanigans have burned itself into my memory forever!

As for West Coast Swing, somewhere along the way, I started enjoying the dance for itself. Grooving to the music and simply letting go J  
The amazing peeps who kept the passion burning!
 
Starting out was kind of hard but along the way, I made new and firm friends with the people in the WCS community in Singapore and two special friends from Adelaide. I also took part in my very first Jack & Jill! Super nerve wracking and of course I didn’t do all that well. It’s my first time! Dammit.

Work-wise, I was good, I was bad, I was up, down, trying to find that feeling again. Thanks to Barry Manilow, I have the right words. For someone who’s never viewed her job as simply a job, this was a terrible blow. In all my years, I have never experienced such an intense period of self-doubt and was continually forced to examine and re-examine if what I was doing was the right thing. Was it only me?
 
Parts of it, definitely, but I am not accepting all the damned blame. I’m no doormat. For me, work is about doing the job to the best of your ability.  Not about the drama. I’ve always been open-minded about my career and take in criticism and feedback to improve. The stick in my craw is being criticized repeatedly. Every mistake is highlighted, sometimes publicly, from the big ones to the tiniest – what is the point of this? It’s like no one here ever makes a mistake. I totally get how Bill Murray felt in Groundhog Day now. Constantly being told that “you are good, but just not good enough” is enough to dishearten the most optimistic person. At the end of the day, it was a ‘good’ thing that my mum’s medical situation acted up. As much as I liked some of the people that I worked with, I don’t think I could have taken this treatment much longer. Everyone has a threshold and mine was at its end.
 
My lifeline, my crazy bunch of friends, family and loved ones helped me stay sane and liquored up throughout it all. I don’t have to see you all the time to know that you are there for me. I’m a bit of an oddball for sure. But you guys have been a lifeline no matter which part of the world you come from J I’m letting the pictures speak for themselves this time….

Well, you can't get them all
This New Year brings the start of new adventures. New things to look forward to and new challenges to overcome – I’m looking forward to them. Starting on a clean slate is always good. The quest to grow should be driven by what you want and how you can achieve it. Criticism should be taken in and then used to pave new and braver roads ahead J Here’s to a great 2013!


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Bloody evolution!

Jumping off yet another bloody bridge
Reading and music are two of my life's constants. I can't  imagine going going through a day without picking up a good book or going through some kind of soundtrack as I work, dance or even just walk around. Who can?

The two constants have also made me evolve in ways that I didn't want to evolve in. In someways, my inner cave woman is resistant to all this change. Weird, isn't it? Especially for someone who's worked in technology for a bulk of her working life. Adopting my first iPod was borne out of necessity and practicality. I can't travel the world in customary no-frills frivolity, while carrying a stack of CDs! Have you seen my music collection? That thing is huge! What am I, a travelling music box woman? All I'd need is a monkey and a DJ booth that will crank out the tunes as I go. No bloody way.

And so, I got myself an iPod and filled it with my musical favorites over the years. That has worked out perfectly :) Now I can travel and sort through my thoughts without carrying a shitload of stuff with me.

The new step in the evolution comes from the fact that many of my favorite long-time book sellers and second-hand bookstores closing down. It tough seeing the people that you love, friends, who've bonded with you over books and authors have to move on because the way of the world is changing. The move towards a paperless society is great, we keep more trees, reduce our carbon footprint and hopefully use the land for more sustainable ventures but we lose the warmth and heart of the people who would recommend that hot new author or tell you that the new bestseller, really sucks. That to me is the irreplaceable element of the second-hand bookstore.

My inner cave woman was pissed off! What is this change about nowwwww! Why do I have to become yet another drone in the train, who constantly taps on their bloody device? Part of why I am so resistant to this change is because I love holding a physical book and reading it. I don't need to constantly fiddle around on Facebook or Twitter or blog every second of my life. But this new change seems to be inevitable. I have to learn to adapt a little. The second-hand bookstores were perfect for me because, I can choose to keep or return the books that I didn't want. Sadly, they are being muscled out by technology and the fact that lesser people choose to read physical books today. And I cannot keep buying books, I just don't have enough space in my house.

So what's a girl to do, right? Well, this one is researching the types of reading devices that would take her the furthest. So far, the choices are between the Kindle Fire and the Kindle Paperwhite. Fire because I want to be able to read magazines and also comics that I really love. But then again, do I really need something in HD and in color? Would it tire out my eyes? Can I just stick to the efficiency of the Paperwhite? Hmmm points to ponder. If you come across this post and have one of these devices, let me know what you think! It'll help tremendously!

Thank you!

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Oh for some sex-ay time

Another day, another book 
I've been an avid reader of romantic novels all my life. I've read the classics, the cult favorites, the trendy chick lit (not a fan of them) and also erotica. 

So of course, with all the buzz of 50 Shades of Grey, I had to go out and get my hands on a copy, right? Wrong.

I got veto-ed, yes VETO-ed by my friendly, neighborhood bookseller. 

Bookseller uncle: Girl, why are you trying to read that? Because it's popular?" (just before I could nod in agreement) Please, lah, can you read something better? The language is terrible! It's worse than teenage writing. The novels that you've been taking are much better for story value and even the sex scenes are better.

 Me: Wah, uncle you have a very strong opinion about this!Bookseller uncle: Of course, I don't want my customers to just read nonsense, even it is popular

 Daaaaammmmmnn, but the bookseller uncle is fiery! And so, just because I don't naturally trust first-hand advice....I went to look for an excerpt online. I shouldn't have bothered. Two paragraphs into chapter one and I clicked off the page. I'm sure the writing will be just as scintillating for the entire series. Zzzzzzzzzzz

Ok, maybe it's the hype but I don't understand how a book like this could be so popular. Or why many well-read friends are actually promoting it. Hopefully it's just a bad phase, but its a highly disturbing one. I am hardly a book snob but at the same time, I don't like reading badly written material. I especially don't like how scenes from the book are paraphrased and reproduced. C'mon! You can do better than that!

I've told a number of friends that if you want to read a good book that has lots of sex, pick up a romantic novel or better, some erotic anthologies. While romantic novels may contain the requisite  heaving bosoms and the virile men, at least the books are well plotted and written. Need a more spicy read? Go for erotic novels. Don't be shy. after all, people have been turning to these books for ages to get new ideas to bring a little heat into their bedrooms.

So what should you read? For the curious, I'd recommend authors like Susan Johnson (go for her earlier titles), Beatrice Small, Zane  and even Anne Rice's take on BDSM Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. I'm not sure if the last one is available here but, hey, there's always Amazon.com. The last one gave me a bit of a nightmare, but that said, it's a very different take on a classic children's tale and written for a more sophisticated audience. Definitely not for the faint hearted.

But for the non-believers, you can always go back to this:

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P

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