Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Dr Strange in the observatory

The three-month mark is fast approaching and the feelings that I have about the move have been mixed. Work has been a mix of totally crazy/ mysterious/ demanding/ irrational/ passive aggressive/ exhilarating.  Don’t get me wrong. It’s been mad but fun and I love challenges and coming up with solutions to tackle them. For me, work is about pushing the boundaries on things; you have to push to constantly improve and progress. I am here because the challenge to turn around a company is pretty thrilling. For someone who is deemed ‘foreign talent’, it is not simply about doing a job, it is putting your money where your mouth is. Do you deserve the status and pay?
 
The pros are that the higher-ups have noted the change and the hard work we’re putting in. There’s appreciation. However, pushing is not a something one accomplishes alone or in a duo. There seems to be a bit of a tug-of-war going on, where on one side, you have people who are keen to band together to make new breakthroughs. On the other hand, there is a bunch of people who are so set in their ways and resistant to change or new ideas that it totally drives you bonkers. It was a harsh reality-check to learn that the industry was surprised that we are still around. Ouch.
 
At times I wonder, how the hell will we all survive this? Oftimes, it feels like people believe that they are irreplaceable. This used to be old way of thinking in pre-recession Singapore and look at the job fallout from the financial crisis. Cushy jobs gone in a thrice, long-term service was retired in favor of hungrier people who performed better, simple jobs were taken by harder working people who earned far less and the top of the crop became even more prized. To really implement change, there needs to be some serious ass-kicking all round!
 
This is not the first company that I’ve been a part of that has undergone change. In the past, both of the in-house roles that I’ve worked in dealt with organizational changes on a global level. The difference is that the companies chose to handle change more progressively and positively. They brought in professional consultants and worked really hard to instill the message that change is essential for growth. Both the messages and management were fundamental drivers that walked the talk from inside, out. Because of this, the staff started to embrace the changes positively. There is a feeling in the air that things will work out and they did.


Yea, right
But not here, or maybe not yet. It still feels like change is something to be checked off a list. Sometimes, you just want to grab hold of people and give them a hard shake while yelling: You are not a robot! There is no such thing as accepting a half-change! Quit whingeing, embrace change and MAKE IT WORK! It can be extremely frustrating at times. 
 
Frustrated? Yes. Challenged? Yes. But then again, we’re in early days yet. I still have tricks up my sleeve. Let’s see how far I get before I thwack someone over the head for being a complete moron. At the rate some people are going, that day may come sooner than you think ;)
 
I also came across a few interesting posts that I think somewhat complement this week's nugget:

Are you really sure no one is reading your profile?



Dear readers,

Let me set the record straight.

If you have a social media account of any sort, whether it’s Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, a blog or Google+ or some form of network that allows you to stay in touch, stalk and/or communicate with people - your life is public. 

Regardless of how many privacy controls you’ve set or what you think you have locked away, more often than not, someone, somewhere would have heard of you or known you. They or a mutual friend would be able to access pictures of your drunk-arsed self, heard about your various shenanigans, checked out the people that you hang out with, read your self-absorbed status updates, seen you go from being single, to in a relationship, to married or are currently available or read your bitchy comments about clients or people in general. You may think that you are cool, but at the end of the day, random people will end up knowing a heck lot more about you than you could possibly imagine.

So what is the deal with social media then? It’s pretty simple, really. Either you learn how to use it wisely or you don’t use it at all.

Today, the misuse of social media is one of the leading concerns that people have. More and more people are getting fired, sued, divorced and jailed because of it. Just look at Wikileaks, ask your friends or simply read the thousands of articles online about people who abuse social media platforms who thought that no one reads their materials. How many times have you heard the phrase: ‘my boss will never read that?’ The claim that what you post on your profile is private and is only your view no longer holds true. Whether you like it or not, potential employers, recruiters, customers, new boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, the media etc are using social media channels to learn as much as they can about you.

Everyone is guilty of using social media to their advantage. Therefore, why not use it wisely or responsibly?

You don’t have to be a drone to create an interesting profile that plays to your strengths. Instead of posting inane updates, think about what you are posting. And who will be seeing it. Do you really want members of your family to know that you had a wild night with the boys? Sure you can un-tag those photos but can you control anyone else from putting them online in the first place? How does it reflect on you? Will this be good or bad for your public profile? Don’t just check-in at every place you go to. How about highlighting the interesting aspects of the places that you are visiting instead?

It’s not difficult to maintain your public profile if you are smart about it. I’m sure that you have a thousand different opinions and thoughts but at the same time, it’s good to step back once in a while, to check that you don’t go overboard. Sharing is one thing, showing everyone that you are a self-absorbed fool is another thing entirely.  The onus is entirely on you to show people who you are.

After all, some one is reading it.

It's only words

I came across this interesting article from various tweets and Facebook posts: Stop yourself from making egregious e-mail errors. The writers highlighted three points that I agree with and really like:
  • Be careful of recklessly BCC'ing and forwarding e-mails
  • Be courteous; it doesn't take much effort to type "thanks"
  • Have some tact and stop yourself from playing fascist dictator when replying
A tool that the article recommends is http://tonecheck.com/. This is to flag harsh phrases, which could help people while writing emails. I'd just like to add that that with so many social media tools available today and even texting on our mobile phones, people are taking basic communication for granted. Hey, if you can be polite and all for work, why don't you apply it on a personal level? Perhaps you think that your friends should understand you, because you are a caveman at heart. And so, you repay them by treating them like shit?  At this rate, you'll be friendless.

Two of my pet peeves are (1) to receive curt messages. For example, you haven't seen or heard from a  friend for a long time and you text them a 'how are you?' message. The response 'I'm fine' really pisses me off.  Yea, so I know that you can write a novel via SMS but is texting 'I'm doing ok and thanks for asking' such a chore? Messages like that make me feel that I should not have bothered in the first place.

(2) Badly written SMS-es. Now this one is probably the product of our parents being impatient people. Mine is and trust me, the SMS-es I receive can confound the most intelligent person. The example: 'Bring down the freezer stuff, I am on the way'. You think, what and call them. During the call, you get instructions to bring down some frozen food so that it can be cooked later in the day and learn that your mother is on her way to visit an aunt. And by the way, you should have lunch first cos she won't be back in time. Hoookkkaayy....

I have to admit that sometimes I too respond to SMS-es or emails curtly. This is mainly because of the tone that the initial communication was sent in. We know that everyone is pressed for time and that time is money but to preserve our relationships, we sometimes have to take the time to personalize our messages. You don't have to send out gushy messages just a polite return message will do.

It's only words but putting a smile on the face of the recipient works far better than having them slag you off.

Did you get my message?

Working in public relations has shown me that message delivery is essential. Regardless of your profession, how you deliver your message shows how effective you are as a communicator.

The last couple of weeks were especially interesting, with my brother moving into a new place and mum going into hysterics every once over a few days. Why hysterics? Because, my little brother, sweet as he is, still thinks he is a little boy and at the moment, can't really see that what he is telling mum sends her into hysterics. Put that togethe with mum's over anxious-ness and paranoia = me driven insane.

In this instance, I learn that I need to help my brother learn how to hone his communication skills. You can't just say anything, just because. You have to be aware of what you are saying, who you are talking with and how you are saying it. In a few weeks, he'll be starting a new job and its crucial that he learns how to improve his communcation skills. The room for error is very small in the workplace. I also learned that we need to keep mum on an even keel - yes, she is concerned about us kids and how we are helping our brother. What we now need to do is to reassure and show her that things are under control.

Another example that I'm learning from is from my own behaviour. In my last relationship, I didn't realize that I was acting like an infatuated kid. That said, I don't really know what I really did or how I did it as not many people are willing to share what they saw of my bahaviour. Sharing such details with friends (or me) is important - I like telling them about how the guy was or behaved and I would have appreciated feedback on my behavior too. After it all ended, I heard some feedback but seriously, I could have handled things better if I had some insight on the outset. Brushing things aside and what I had to say hurt me. I guess I behaved the way I did because I thought no one cared or bothered. Yea, no one likes being told that they are idiots but things will sink in after a while, trust me.

The key to effective communication though, is thinking things through. How you say it can make all the difference in demonstrating how you handle a situation. If my brother had said that things are going well with the move in the first place and that you don't have to wory much, mum, things would've gone much smoother. If friends had asked if I had any reservations about the ex and how I wanted to handle things, I would have been able to talk things out instead of letting things fester inside. But then again, who can predict the outcome of such things?

Here are a few BW tips to ponder through the next time you have the urge to blurt :

  1. What are you trying to tell the person? Do you want their feedback or insight on what to do next? Frame your query in the clearest manner possible.
  2. How do you want them to help you? Again, ask for help if you need it. It's never wrong or bad to say you don't know how to handle things. There is no loss of power if you don't know how to do things - you will only be an idiot if you act like one.
  3. Know your audience. Face it, we don't talk to our mum the way we speak to friends or co-workers, so change your message accordingly.
  4. Say it calmly. And by calm, I don't mean nonchalant. Convey your message in a manner that shows that you've put some thought behind it so that you can gain better feedback.
  5. Think it through. Of course there are several scenarios of how a situation will pan out. It's best to figure most of it out before you say anything. This helps you tackle the tough questions as and when they come up so you be completely caught off guard.
  6. No hysterics. No matter how good or bad the news is, wait for it all to come out before you go mad.
  7. Be direct and conscise. Be as straightforward as you can. Your task is to convey your message so that it is understood immediately with little room for misunderstanding.
At the end of the day, saying something right will often save you a lot of trouble. Messages conveyed well (regardless of whether it is good news or not) are more appreciated if they can be understood. So put on your thinking caps and go forth and communicate!

Older Posts Home
Powered by Blogger.

About Me

My photo
Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P

Followers

Total Pageviews

Blog Archive

Search This Blog