Come to think of it, this year was pretty darned exciting. It was a year of learning to overcome new challenges. I moved to a new country, made new friends, got stranded by the very same company that hired me, worked my ass off, cut a dead relationship and toxic people off from my life, learned that people change along with their political alliances and that friends, no matter where you are, will always support you and be there for you.

‘Finding yourself’ is not just a stupid term coined by people with a hollow self-fulfilling prophesy. You just need the time and space to do it. Space to breathe, take in where you are and realize that things aren't so bad after all... You can DO this!

There were a few firsts: went on secret booze runs, learned how to ski, that great paragliding attempt, moved into the world’s most Spartan house, went travelling with my sister, saw more of the Middle East and actually quite liked it, and welcomed both friends and family to the new crib.

How the hell do you cram everything into one damned collage? LOL

And with the good, came the challenges. I guess that being more gung-ho than your average schmo, I was always up for a new challenge. Stepping outside of a comfort zone is never easy. I made a decision and then jumped straight in. Was it the best decision I ever made? Let me get back to you on that…  I have to confess that it brought about one of the biggest frustrations ever. For a foreigner in this country, I was faced with the most unhelpful people who refused to step even an inch out of their designated work scope. Everyone was too mired in their own bureaucratic bullshit to realize that hey, the person you hired doesn't know how things work – this shit is new *rolls eyes* Get over yourselves, people!

Professionally, I quickly remembered what it was like to work in-house. To succeed means to be able to successfully navigate political landmines in order to deliver what you are hired for: the work. At times it feels like I am both the conductor and the musician in an orchestra. You just want to kick everyone and yell, WAKE THE FUCK UP! That said I realized that the woman who used to so readily agree to things is no longer. While there are no stupid ideas, at least come with one that can be executed in a reasonable way.

In terms of new adventures and people. Zumba became part of my new regimen, while social dancing introduced me to more dancers and I continued to feed my wanderlust. New friends remain in the same vein as the old ones, boozy, mouthy and full of surprises. It is just cool to find people with a similar sense of fun or silliness that you can just hang out with. Hail to banditry and shenanigans!

Checking out Jordan, Oman and Abu Dhabi

Of banditry and shenanigans

As a PR professional, I’m often asked by higher ups or even newbies: Do you think we should offer the journalist an exclusive?

Ah, the great exclusive. In today’s highly fluid information-fuelled world, where hardly anything is secret anymore, where does the exclusive come into play? If you have leaked a launch to your customer, the word-of-mouth itself could be built up within your community. Your customers and perhaps some reporters are already expecting news at a certain date and when you finally announce a launch, is that really an exclusive or simply a launch announcement? The reality is this: unless you are Edward Snowden, Lindsey Lohan or have a top and I mean, news or industry breaking, revolutionary, tier-1 story to break, you should not be considering exclusives.

It is not a word to be bandied about lightly. The exclusive is often offered to journalists who are your cream of the crop. And you offer the ONE exclusive. Look at the late Princess Di and Barbra Walters. She had one story to tell, to one of the most powerful women in journalism on one of the most watched news networks in the world.

Do you have that kind of story to tell? How do you know if your story is exclusive-worthy? Whether you are in B2B or B2C, what is considered an exclusive to you, may just be a run-of-the-mill announcement to the reporter.

Just like the Hitchhiker, who has a guide to the galaxy, I too have a guide of sorts.  It may be a little quirky but it comes from one of my favourite movies of all time, The Untouchables. The scene is set in a church where Kevin Costner’s Elliott Ness gets a bit of a life lesson from Sean Connery’s Jimmy Malone over what he can expect in taking down Al Capone.


Long after the movie’s ended the questions that resonate were:  What are you prepared to do? And then what are you prepared to do?

As a PR professional, it struck me that our job never really ends. It is not something where we can simply clock out at 6pm. Whether we like it or not, we are always on call. Because when you do get that call, what are you prepared to do? And then what are you going to do next? Sure, you can provide a placeholder or delay until you’ve dug up the information needed or found the right decision makers but your job is always to respond and provide a feasible solution first. You never pick up the phone without a prepared response to the issue at hand.

But what about just conveying that information? It’s all fine and dandy to pass the buck to the next decision-maker but then, where is your true value? What do you bring to the table that makes your expert opinion count? Over the years, I’ve encountered many PR pros, managers or even bosses who are great at articulating their vision or providing the right response. However, the people who truly deliver value in the business are the ones who can walk the talk. PR is not just about improving perception or delivering that corporate message. It is also about validating that talk with what you are doing to get the desired result. The bottom line is, if you can put your money where your mouth is, I will respect you that much more.

It is not something that comes by easily, trust me. Sometimes even I struggle in the delivery and need encouragement or backup. Being in the industry for so long, you see so many people who are wowed by smooth talkers. It’s hilarious, really. You’d think that after awhile, people will look beyond the veneer and start questioning? Ha. Ha. Ha.

But what I believe is this: to be successful and respected, you need to be able to rise to the occasion and deliver on your promises. That is the only way of delivering true value. 

• Write down your attributes – what are your strengths? What do you do well? Do a top 5 list. 
• What do you like to do? In terms of work, are you a skilled organizer, number cruncher, events whiz? Do you know a lot of people?
• What are your top fields to work in? Pick the top 3. No, we can’t all work for Google. Do some research!
• How do you go about getting what you want? Do you need to start at the bottom? Get an additional degree? Who do you talk to?

Today’s post is a long one but one that was inspired by another friend. Thanks for making me think about my journey to where I am today.

I come from a unique working background, going from in-house to PR agencies and then moving back to in-house. Working through the levels from ground up, gives me a really good perspective of how Communications as a role can evolve, how the agency and in-house roles work and more importantly, how to work them.

One of the things that resonated with me all these years is perception management. Sounds fancy? Not really. It is what it sounds like. Perception management is a practical tool that, if you grasp its fundamental concept, you ultimately accomplish so much more.  

Here are some real-life examples of how perception management works and coming from the client-side, what we think. Our agency in London gives my boss (vacationing in The Netherlands) a panicked call when they discovered that the demo kit that they passed to a leading technology journalist didn’t have a SIM card. Worse, they never checked to see that the card was there.  Are you sure you’ve managed consumer tech accounts before? Why they never thought to call me, the non-vacationer, is beyond my understanding.  My first instinct is to pick up the phone to give them a really good reason to worry.  What happened to thinking the problem through? Or presenting the client with a solution if you are stuck? Sure, you handle nasty journalists all the time. What happened to handling it for the client? Did you expect me or my boss to fly to London? Instead, you panic and freak out. Shame on you. Dear agency consultants, if your first instinct is to call the client the moment a problem crops up without presenting them with viable solutions, you should reassess your day job. 

The second story comes from an agency that I’ve personally worked with and in. They were working on an event and they were expected to deliver on RSVPs as well as documents. While the agency was a little slow on the uptake, they made things work. What they did differently was they didn’t talk up their project. They focused on what could be delivered and worked steadily towards their goals, despite pressure from me.  I don’t know about you but I prefer working with agencies who know what they are doing and do not over-promise and under-deliver. Agency work is about delivering and reassuring. You know the media, you know the landscape and your job is to manage your client’s expectations. 

Finally, my ultimate pet peeve is agencies that talk up their experience without being able to deliver. Sure, you have the fancy clients and the huge accounts or you could be a super niche agency. But if you don’t share the RSVP list unless I ask for it? Or if you have no idea what a briefing document is or complain when I ask for a post-mortem report? You should be fired. I hired you to do the job. If I have to do your work, I might as well do it all on my own. Perception management as you can is, is a foreign concept here.  And who does a project without showcasing results? The irony? The project spawned a HUGE amount of coverage and a lot of positive follow-ups.

So what do I want or rather clients want in working with an agency? It’s quite simple, really:

• Show us you know your stuff with concrete results. Case studies, real-experiences in account management and problem-solving count.
• Assure us that you are doing your job by being responsive. Give us daily/weekly updates/calls. Ask us to help, tell us what you need to get your job done
• If a problem happens, don’t freak out. BREATHE. Take a step back and think of a solution, work it through and then update us. Demonstrating solid problem-solving skills under pressure is a huge plus.
• Ask if you don’t know anything. Do not limit yourself at initial meetings.
• Show us you know your media landscape. If we challenge you, respond and demonstrate that you KNOW your media and how they work. Educate us.
• Be enthusiastic. This last point makes or breaks an account. It makes your client feel good that you are keen to work on their project. Even if you have no idea what the hell a satellite is or if the bloody things can work underground, show interest, ask intelligent questions and we will respect you and your interest in us. 

Don’t just ‘handle’ your clients. Manage them and they will respect you. It’s about creating value for you and your business.  And really, if all else fails, don’t simply panic. Breathe and work it out. 

I was recently back in Asia for a short holiday and work. All I can say is phew! For someone who’s on her first international job posting, coming back to home base brings immense joy and at the same time, an acute sense of nostalgia. You go back to the things that you love with family and friends who’ve been there for the ride. And there is simply nothing better :)

It happened to be the worst haze that Singapore has ever had. To capitalize on it, we had our demo at the top of the Marina Bay Sands so that we can get our haze on!

And this is just the tip of the iceberg...

And so, it’s back to being singleton again. For some reason, this time it doesn’t feel as bad. I went from being very upset to really angry and then…nothing.
 
On the other hand, the eventual apathy is nothing new. Even when coupled up, he was always busy or too busy or travelling and I continued with my dancing, work and friends. The thing that really stuck in my craw in the end was: If he can stay things that are true to himself, then why can’t I say mine and get an acknowledgement or a decent argument out of it? So much for communication... pfft. More like two idiots just blabbering with no one listening.  The thing that probably galled him was that I didn’t just want to sit around wondering, I dumped him. That is me, being true to myself.  

• If you don’t stand up for what you believe in, no one else will do it for you. It’s not about being selfish and only wanting your end of things but making a point. Then hopefully coming to some sort of compromise that both parties can live with


• If things are worth fighting for then do it. If there is no fight or you just grunt and give in. It doesn’t mean that things are ok. It just means that you end up resenting each other over time
  
  
• Things are your fault too. A part of what happened is my fault. I let things carry on, I talked things over with him with the hope that I would get through. In the end, I learned that he is holding on to an idea or rather ideal that neither me, nor anyone else can crack.

From top left, clockwise: the great goulash experiment, paragliding, check out the sandstorm, ayam masak merah and some party animals



The aforementioned nook - not from Barnes and Noble

environment and either understand how people do things or whip them into shape if they are in a constant state of chaos (which they are). The foundation months are essential in establishing who you are and proving your worth. Work is constant and to top it all off, you have to settle things on the personal front.

Confession time: Who thinks I live like this?

This means finding and settling into a home. You are responsible for making sure that you have all the basics covered or have enough money to settle things like your security deposit, agent’s fee, electricity and make basic furniture and kitchen purchases to start off with. The thing that annoyed me the most is people’s perceptions of how things are or should be. Surprisingly, this includes my mother. She thought that I was renting a place that came fully furnished and that I am living the life of some frivolous expat with no thought of my responsibilities. In reality, I am working longer hours, leaning a new job where some people not used to working on timelines and mark everything urgent. I am making enough to cover my housing expenses and often, when I come home, I am too tired to make a proper meal. I just eat something, try to unwind from a hectic day and then head to bed. I am trying my bloody best to cope and constantly haranguing me doesn’t help in any way.  Of course I have time-outs where I relax with friends and those times are really cherished but that is it. I have yet to explore this city. I don’t spend my time getting drunk or being promiscuous or misbehaving. I am old enough to have some sense! Sometimes, I don’t understand how perceptions can be so freaking skewed. It pisses me off, big time.

Building a home also means that a huge chunk of your initial salary goes into furnishing and of course, you have your daily expenses – you sure as hell can’t eat the couch! Luckily for me, my place is partially furnished with the major appliances, ie washer, refrigerator and cooker. Those are the big ticket items that I don’t want to buy or have to cart home when my stint is done. The bed and the rest of the furniture is what I am building up to now.  If this is your first move, you can always choose to get either 2nd hand or buy new stuff. Just know that nothing else comes with the house and it is your responsibility to ensure that you purchase all your necessities.

So what’s the status now? Well, I am working hard and living as I see fit. A friend recently remarked, “You are finally restless. I have been so for ages!” Fuck off. I don’t need your opinion to get through my days. Work keeps me occupied then I just want to rest, go dancing or hang out with friends. But what I really want right now is a TV and some barstools…LOL

The what?! The Ramee Rose…Apparently, when I first told my bosses that I was going to move into a building with “Rose” in its name, they thought that I was going to move into a dodgy establishment called the Ramee Rose – home to one of Tecom’s dodgiest bars, happy ending massages and all round hive. Cue suspicious looks and a few rounds of “are you really sure it’s a good place?” *what’s wrong with these people?” I thought.

The infamous Ramee Rose

Well, I am glad to report that I have got gone totally mad in the time that I have been here. In fact, this weekend, I would be moving into my new apartment. The non-dodgy Rose and it is fiinnneeee J Granted, all I have is a bed, a rack and 2 little standing shelves for now, but I can’t complain. Things are slowly getting on track.

The new digs

 
The boss is also responsible for introducing me to the ‘inner circle’ – also known as the people who help keep me liquored up and sane. Weird, but true… apart from the people who are simply your colleagues, you definitely need a support system of sorts. Or in my case, a system that gets you drunk twice in the time that I’ve been here. But, who’s complaining? ;)



Those costumes! Gah!




The amazing peeps who kept the passion burning!

Well, you can't get them all

This New Year brings the start of new adventures. New things to look forward to and new challenges to overcome – I’m looking forward to them. Starting on a clean slate is always good. The quest to grow should be driven by what you want and how you can achieve it. Criticism should be taken in and then used to pave new and braver roads ahead J Here’s to a great 2013!

Last week I had a great opportunity to write a commentary for the Singapore Business Review and it presented me with a platform to write a piece for the business community in Singapore. Sounds damned highbrow, right? 

It took a little pondering but at the end of the day, I wrote about what was closest to me. This is based on observations as well as things which are happening to colleagues, friends and people online. But enough talk, have you read it yet? What do you think? Let me know :)

Confounding, complex and oftimes just a pain in the arse. This year is filled with so many different people, characters and personalities that I feel like I am in a comic book or in Les Mis. This is the year I learned how complicated people can make my life, how even the smallest thing can trigger the biggest changes and how sometimes, those who you regard as your closest allies can cling to their own beliefs with such ardor that they are blind to anything else.

This post is dedicated to the people who made my ride all the more colorful. You made me swear incessantly at you (some in person, some in other forms) or with you. Thanks to you, I laugh more, found a new job with great support from a strong team, refined my hobbies, lowered tolerance for idiots and become less passive-aggressive.  You encouraged me step out of my comfort zone to meet new people and do things that I probably wouldn't even consider because I am such a lazy arse.


To the lost friends, too bloody bad. Yes, God may have brought you back to my life for whatever reason. One of it is probably for me to personally tell you fuck off. It's cold, but what can I say? While I like reconnecting with lost friends, I also believe that some should just remain lost. Not every connection is for the better. Especially if it reminds you of a particularly horrible time in your life. Just bloody move on.

If you are wondering how the fricking hell I managed to work around all these people, don't. Staying in touch is not rocket science. It's about reaching out and strengthening ties to the people who are already there. So friends are outside of your work environment, it doesn't mean that they should be neglected or accorded less respect just because you have a high-and-mighty job. If you don't take the time to meet up, chat or even do something...anything together, then what's the point of remaining friends? Who will want to make time for someone who doesn't bother? It's not only about you...it's also about the other party who has taken the time to reconnect. Uh huh, it is just like a relationship, people, except you don't have to sleep with your friend (unless you want to...but that is a whole different story).

It takes effort on all sides to do this but believe me, the pay-offs are pretty great :o) The proof is in the pictures.