Hello 2015 and hello all :) *waves*

The posts have been slow in coming thanks to a drain on the mojo (hello work “motivation”) and a dearth of visitors in the sandbox. Talk about being a social butterfly! The usual year-end blooper post will have to come later, this time I’m building up to an observation.

Case in point: With so much self-promotion, self-declaration and whatnot perpetuated social media, are we all losing our sense of grace? Are we killing humility (like poor ol' Smoochy) in the effort to trumpet our successes at every turn?

No matter where you turn, Jimmy is telling you about his great life, Sally is showing off her new body or Sammy is showing you just how wonderful a person he is. Even our bosses are hopping onto the bandwagon "if you don't keep trumpeting your successes, who will know what you've done?".. uh how about you? The person we report to? Or are you too busy claiming credit instead? ;) Celebrating accomplishments is one thing, going overboard and shouting from the rooftops about how great you are, how without you, the office will never be able to function and how wonderful your life is, is sickening. Enough already!

This raises another issue. Because everyone is so bloody busy, would anyone take notice of your accomplishments? Is that why you have to constantly promote and market ourselves just to be seen or even heard? 

While I believe that technology and social media are great, they are oftimes the source of countless problems. If we all took the chance to unplug ourselves from our phones, computers and devices, we could actually get somewhere. Firstly, we would stop envying everyone else. 

We will start appreciating the little things again, being kind, learning to be socially adept with people and to actually see people for who they are. It’s true that we can’t help bragging from time to time but let’s tone it down, ok? If we all took a step back and dialed things down, we will star becoming ourselves again, instead of succumbing to what everyone says, or thinks… or even worse, what some reality star opines. 

Maybe I am just a cynic but I feel that you aren't truly great unless your accomplishments are given third-party validation. And by that, I don’t mean being validated by one of your personas. I mean being genuinely praised and recognized for a job well-done. The days of sincere compliments are few and far between. In the rush to be seen as being ‘great” we often praise false idols while neglecting true heroes. 

I don’t know what the world is coming or how people will continue to behave but I can say one thing. We need to stop trying to be “great” because

As we become more globalized  couples of all races are inter-marrying and creating children of mixed races. It's a reality that we have to wake up to. Sure, there are people who prefer to date and marry within their race, that is a personal choice.

The world has evolved and so must we. Instead of making childish or ignorant comments in the vein of 'my race is better than yours', why don't we teach our kids more about their roots?

Being a child, or rather, woman of mixed race myself, I don't condone what Amy has done. I also don't support small-minded Singaporeans who jump on the support or disparage bandwagon blindly. The issue here is not simply about one race against another. Admit it, we all make fun of the weird aspects of each other's races. Ribbing is part of growing up but it should remain just that. Don't be a moron and take it online.

When I was growing up, I was part of a tiny minority. Teachers had no idea how to classify me, the kids were a bit more forgiving. If you've seen me, I look anything from Chinese to Indian or Malay, at times Eurasian, I speak three of the national languages, two of its dialects and still celebrate almost all the traditional festivals. People just had no idea of what to make if kids like me. Sounds sad, right?

Not at all. I had a great childhood because I had the best of all my worlds. Growing up, I had the most diverse set of friends. They came from all walks of life and from all sorts of cultures. Some have remained my closest comrades. I attended parties for almost every kid in the estate. I was never part of any cliques (seriously, what clique?)  I learnt more about who I am as a Chinese/Indian/Peranakan kid. On the religious front, I was exposed to more religions for which I am grateful. One aspect of my race doesn't define me. I am defined by ALL aspects of my races.

This is probably the reason why I have never thought it was wrong or different if couples from other races got together. Personally, I dated whomever I wanted to, not because of their race but because of who they are. What I thought was weird was kids or adults who only had single race friends. It feels weird because it seems like they are too afraid to venture outside of their comfort zones to see  that there are so many other great people.

Consider this little nugget before I go: Today, people of single-races may be the majority. But what will happen when multi-cultural people become the majority? Would you want yourself or your children to be discriminated against or would you rather have people learn and carry the values of your race through the ages? We have to open our eyes and hearts and start learning now. There is no room for racism. 

Dear readers,

Let me set the record straight.

If you have a social media account of any sort, whether it’s Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, a blog or Google+ or some form of network that allows you to stay in touch, stalk and/or communicate with people - your life is public. 

Regardless of how many privacy controls you’ve set or what you think you have locked away, more often than not, someone, somewhere would have heard of you or known you. They or a mutual friend would be able to access pictures of your drunk-arsed self, heard about your various shenanigans, checked out the people that you hang out with, read your self-absorbed status updates, seen you go from being single, to in a relationship, to married or are currently available or read your bitchy comments about clients or people in general. You may think that you are cool, but at the end of the day, random people will end up knowing a heck lot more about you than you could possibly imagine.

So what is the deal with social media then? It’s pretty simple, really. Either you learn how to use it wisely or you don’t use it at all.

Today, the misuse of social media is one of the leading concerns that people have. More and more people are getting fired, sued, divorced and jailed because of it. Just look at Wikileaks, ask your friends or simply read the thousands of articles online about people who abuse social media platforms who thought that no one reads their materials. How many times have you heard the phrase: ‘my boss will never read that?’ The claim that what you post on your profile is private and is only your view no longer holds true. Whether you like it or not, potential employers, recruiters, customers, new boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, the media etc are using social media channels to learn as much as they can about you.

Everyone is guilty of using social media to their advantage. Therefore, why not use it wisely or responsibly?

You don’t have to be a drone to create an interesting profile that plays to your strengths. Instead of posting inane updates, think about what you are posting. And who will be seeing it. Do you really want members of your family to know that you had a wild night with the boys? Sure you can un-tag those photos but can you control anyone else from putting them online in the first place? How does it reflect on you? Will this be good or bad for your public profile? Don’t just check-in at every place you go to. How about highlighting the interesting aspects of the places that you are visiting instead?

It’s not difficult to maintain your public profile if you are smart about it. I’m sure that you have a thousand different opinions and thoughts but at the same time, it’s good to step back once in a while, to check that you don’t go overboard. Sharing is one thing, showing everyone that you are a self-absorbed fool is another thing entirely.  The onus is entirely on you to show people who you are.

After all, some one is reading it.

Just when I think I’m about to recover some holiday mojo, some idiot pops out from a hole to blight it.

I just posted an Indian-themed Christmas jingle on my Facebook wall for a lark. What I got in response was a comment from a friend who said that such things were not festive but irritating and that he wanted to strangle the person who came up with it. WTF? Where did that come from? I’m not usually quick tempered but things like blind racism or a blatant disregard for others simply pisses me off.

I don’t know if the said friend realizes it, but I am part Indian too. Do you see me for what I am or do you choose to see me only as Chinese or Indian and ignore my other race? I’m one of an increasing number of children of mixed parentage.  Being of mixed parentage is no longer an anomaly, you ignoramus. Just think, one day, we will be the majority. And then what?

Granted these kind of comments happen every once in a while, but what disturbs me is that they are passed by my some of my own friends. Who happen to be the very same people that also do not see why Singapore has to bring in foreign talent. People, the government is doing so simply because Singaporeans are not hungry enough to go out and do what we consider menial jobs, ok? Yes, we can be a bunch of elitist snobs. But I digress.

The comment he passed made me wonder: Does he pass the comment because he comes from a single-race parentage that sometimes teaches their children that their race is better than others? Or is he simply ignorant? If humour was the intension, then I’m sorry to say that you’ve failed miserably.

These days, it is easy to cultivate ignorance. We perceive who people are or pre-judge them based on what we know of their race. Short-sighted and unfair?  I’m sure I don’t hold that notion solely. Sometimes, I too am guilty of having such notions but I process what I’m thinking before spouting anything. We can’t simply claim ignorance anymore - not when there are so many places both online and offline where you can get your information.

It’s true that we crack jokes about people of different races all the time. We laugh at what some cultures do or say things but there is no disrespect.  Humour keeps us together and helps us appreciate the differences. Racism does not. People should be wise enough to step back and read between the lines or know where to draw the line.

It’s easy to accord blame to your parents, teachers, the government or social views in the way you perceive people but at the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your views.  Question is, can you stand up for them?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That said comments made should be done with a measure of tact or diplomacy. Before you shoot off your mouth, think: are you trying to start a conversation or a fight? If you are starting a conversation, would you be able to sustain it and get people to think differently? How would you argue your point? Don’t start a fight based on your stupidity or ignorance. That only serves to highlight your fallacies. 

There are some things that I won’t tolerate and racism is one of them. So, please think before you speak or, at the very least, make a compelling argument.