Re-enter the clown
I'm a pretty even tempered person most of the time. What I cannot stand are idiots. Especially idiots who do not open their eyes or mind up to what I am saying. I am not being unreasonable. But it seems like he had made up his mind on what he wanted and who I am. Well, that is just bullshit because he never made the effort to talk with me directly or answer my questions. Honestly, who calls in the middle of the night to chat? (1) someone who is overseas or (2) someone who does not need to work (3) a booty call.
Eh hero, I have to work in the day and you live in the same country as I. Isn't it enough to chat online? What happened to meeting face-to-face for coffee? Is this like in secondary school where we can go steady with someone without actually interacting with them? I hate, HATE nattering on the phone for no reason and calling in the middle of the night is a sure-fire deal breaker.
What gets my gander is that the man is impractical. How can a grown man with a daughter chose not to work and instead hang out with friends all the time? That he is going back to the polytechnic to take a diploma is a step in the right direction but it's not enough. Who supports them financially? How is the child going to school? Who do they live with?
I declined getting back together because we are essentially different people and there are so many unanswered questions that he refuses to address. I can't live in vagueness and don't believe that love and kindness can sustain a comfortable life. Yes, I pushed him and this is why his response became nastier.
SS: a few years ago, maybe...now. nope. 18 years is a shitload of years for me. i raised a family...and gave up a lot of things. i put myself through school and worked my way up from nothing. SO to me it is everything
KT: Go ahead n b heartless nw den coz wat goes ard cums ard..I dun mind goin thru diz hardship nw if datz wat He chose 4 me
Hello? Just because I said no to getting back together does not make me heartless. What about MY feelings? Apparently, I am not a consideration in this relationship, just a crutch and probably the sole breadwinner too. And what is with bringing God into the equation? Your destiny is what you make of it, man.
SS: you don't understand and are not willing to see where im coming from. you want what you want
KT: wel it should b d other way round
SS: what way is that? tt i am hankering for you?
KT: i'm done wif my bad boy phase but ur juz beginnin ur bad gal phase nw, d tables r turn
Hold your horses. The man just implied that I should be the hankerer! He obviously lives in his own bubble. *rolls eyes*
Last Friday was the first time I was out partying with my salsa team at Cuba Libre after a long time. In recent years, my 'partying' is confined to salsa social nights at Jitterbugs, Union Square and Cuba Libre. Salsa dancing is a major part of my life and has helped me overcome a number of personal challenges. Plus, I love drinks and dinners with my mates, who doesn't? I have the means to do so and I didn't realize that it made me a party animal. But did he bother to ask? Why should he ask such things about me when he can assume and make up stuff from my answers? That ticked me off and hence:
SS: fuck you...i am NO bad girl. i have always been me
KT: pls fuck me den
SS: hell no!
KT: thkz 4 dat aniwei. To u ur not but....
SS: i party when i can and i have lots of different friends do you?
KT: No use if u dun reflect dat (note: I have no idea what this means. Maybe the man is still on drugs. Hence the shit spelling.)
I am always eloquent when I get pissed off. More so when people have missed the point of what I am saying and choose to misconstrue me. This is ridiculous. Just because he has 'reformed' it does not give him the right to judge people. His life is still messed up! WTF, man. And to be honest, I've always suspected that the reason for wanting a reconciliation in the first place was so that he can nail 'the one that got away'. Unfortunately, I don't see things in that way. At the back of my mind, I knew that even if we did try back then, we'd be too different to stay together for long. And so, it ends with one final joust:
SS: i dont care...i've stopped caring abt what others think a long time ago. to you, i'm some sort of cheap party girl. to me, you are a bum
KT: i'm no angel but i've been dat done dat n wen thru worst den u can imagine
SS: this is me
KT: i chance not 4u aniwei so plz learn humility. change**
SS: oh please...humility? you are telling me that? YOU? we each had a horrible time - i don't discount that. now it's about moving on
KT: Juz b a bitch 4 all i care,1 day u'll realize d true facts which u dun seems 2c
SS: that i am a bitch? pls..i know that we can't all have what we want. that is the reality of the situation
KT: wateva den
Fine, call me a bitch, witch, oh just take your pick. The most hilarious part was that he immediately deleted me off his Facebook friends list. Most likely so he can slag me off in bad English without my knowledge. Well, that is ok with me. I relish a fair fight and should he chance on this blog and call me out on it, bring it on, baby! Realistically, this won't happen. After all, the man took 18 years to contact me. It may take another 18 years and then he will call me again, hoping that I have a memory like the dude in Memento.
And you can't just rock up and expect people to accept you with open arms. Maybe he should get a dog or any pet that doesn't talk and will still love him unconditionally. Because the human will definitely want to know almost everything or at the very least, where the line is drawn.
Incidentally KT is not his name. It is short for Kental, which is Malay street slang for hopeless worm :p
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