These days, the air doesn’t feel quite right to me. Yea, so the environment as a whole kinda sucks but what I’m talking about is things around me do not feel quite right.

It’s the whole feeling of uncertainty that I’m not too fond of and overall, it’s unsettling. On a personal level, I’ve experienced a number of changes that has made me look at the different situations and the people around me with fresh eyes.

It’s very surreal to discover unsettling things about friends that you’ve hung out for the past couple of years. And just like in some instances from my past, this just adds to the fact that sometimes, you cannot trust people. My scepticism is borne out of experience, where I used to take people for who they are; now I feel that I have to gauge them first, before putting some form of trust in them. This is why I have very few close friends.

On a lighter note, I’ve been hanging out with different groups of people these days and I must say that this one of the best things. I enjoy the diversity and the different opinions and conversations that swirl around the table. Maybe I’ve become more comfortable with new people but it’s great to find out new things about people who could possibly be good friends someday.

Dance has been good. It’s a little stressful to start working with a new team but on the upside, I am learning the proper things. I’m training myself to be more relaxed on the dance floor, be a better follow, my messy footwork is being corrected and I am improving my isolations and body movements which will strengthen my dancing.

While it feels a little strange to be dancing with the new team, it also feels a little more synchronized and inclusive. Everyone learns from each other and is not afraid to make mistakes. Sure, we get yelled at but at the end of the day, we are not punished like little children and we take away new things to improve on. The good thing is that I am starting to feel like a part of a team again. Previously, it was kind of like that but it felt more like we were comrades from being tortured than if we were learning anything.

Work is crazy. To be able to tell people that you know what exhaustion is like and have to be laid out in bed for two days to recover is no achievement. Unfortunately, I can say that now.

At the end of this long post, I’m still undecided about things, whether it is work or friends or what to do with myself next, but one thing’s certain. I’ve be doing everything with a dash of caution.