It's a game of give and take

Marriage seems like such a commodity these days that I can't help but think, are people really getting married because they are in love and committed to one another or are they just doing it to fit into society?

While I am happy for the people and friends who are getting married, there is a bit of a niggling feeling. Do you know what you are doing? Or are you getting married because all your friends are and therefore you should find some guy/girl and settle down as soon as possible? I've seen people do whatever it takes to get married, hang on to their partners, be in any relationship or get married than later become available. The cynic in me asks, can you truly say you are happy?

Call me a skeptic too but there used to be a time where relationships seemed less rushed. Today, it seems like people barely meet or have time to go out and learn about each oher before you hear that they are getting hitched. Or the ink is barely dry on tehr wedding papers when they are asking for a divorce. Are you people for real?! What the heck is the rush all about? What ever happened to taking the time to decide?

Taking the time to decide means that you are making a serious consideration about spending time with your partner. No one should be blamed for doing that. NO one should rush that process...don't second guess what you are doing because your friends are trying to push you to a decision. I say, decide carefully and tell your friends to fuck off.

I am aware that yea, we are all getting older and not everyone is cut out to be single. But really, have you looked before you leapt? Call me an old-fashioned thinker but I feel that there should be a time to get to know one another much better before taking that giant step. Or decide if that marriage is what you truly seek. Even if you chose to have fun and be single forever, that is a decision that no one (or even society) should take away from you.

Some people I know disagree about taking the time to decide. Why wait, when you know that this could be the right one? Don't get your panties in a twist, pleople. You can get married, I'm saying that you should you get to know a person better first. Can you tell them how you really feel inside? To open up yourself and be vulnerable to each other? If you have come to that stage, by all means. But if you still have that wall or are somehow unable to take that step in revealing your true person to your partner, then perhaps, you should think twice. Or take a longer dating process. This means hanging out together, with friends and family and not just screwing (yes, sex is important but its not the be all and end all.) Dating need not be a big production, people. I feel that simply getting married for the sake of and later discovering, oops, I made a mistake! Can we divorce please? That is farcical.

Its a point to ponder for sure. In my personal reflections, i think: would I be crazy enough to attempt all that, get what I want and later be bored with it? Or will my partner be that way? Relationships are a two way channel and both parties have to come to a compromise on what their ultimate goal is. In today's context, it seems that people just get to the goal and later somehow grapple with each other idiosyncrasies. 

Maybe its just me but its something that makes me go hmmm...comment?

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charmedphoenix said...

maybe we're just too damn scared. maybe these people have got it right.
then again it'd help if they weren't as ready to jump for the divorce papers in double quick time.
a friend? dated for 6 years, lived together for 5, got hitched. and separated in a month.
another one? (we warned and warned and warned the idiot girl) the husband sends the wedding planner (friend of bride) text messages saying i shouldn't have gotten married and should've gotten to know you better. so beautiful i couldn't stop staring at you at the wedding lunch (and the whole wedding? NEVER hold the bride's hand, can die?)

Bitchy Witchy said...

I admit, yes the fear is there too. But then again, to be jumping in and out so quickly, like the Philippines log dance issit? LOL..Your friend...teruk!

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P


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