Lately, the government’s call for more babies and promoting family life just pisses me off. I was looking through the 2008 Marriage & Parenthood Package and it just sets me off. Why? Because, while the government is getting all magnanimous with handing out the cash packages and bonuses for babies, they seem to be neglecting a sub-section of the women; the single mothers.

So we’re Asian, so what? Can’t Asian or Singaporean women choose to be single mothers too? And why are single mothers not entitled to the same benefits as the married ones? Single mothers’ experience the same things are married mothers, right? Or is there something here I don’t understand? My question is…why does the government choose to overlook single mothers? It can’t just be because of the conservative nature of the society that we live in. That’s too simplistic. Or is it?

Admittedly, not every woman desires or aspires toward motherhood but what if it is an accidental baby? Then would the single mother be forced to abort simply because the government frowns upon babies born out of wedlock? Or give her baby up to a married couple who would then be entitled to the bonus? What nonsense if that? Then I’d ask what if the said woman simply does not want a husband but was fully capable of raising a child on her own?

Adult women today are far more capable of raising a family and taking care of their careers than their counterparts from years before. It made me wonder: in trying to do the right thing, why can’t the government be humane as well? Why can’t we prevent cruel abortions and help these single mothers out instead? Understandably, the single mother may choose not to take up the incentive. That’s her prerogative. Would this increase irresponsible promiscuous behavior? I doubt so…because if you really do not want to undertake parenthood, you’d do everything in your power to prevent it.

At the end of the day, no matter how much incentives are handed out or dangled in front of us, getting married and having babies is a personal choice. I don’t see why as a single woman, I have to shackle myself to some guy if all I wanted was a child. I am completely capable of raising a child and working. Now why won’t the government support me? The child that I birth will go towards increasing the birth rate, right? What about the couples who marry but do not want to have children? Why can’t they be left alone without seeing all the nauseous family posters and shit around?

Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in the head of policy-makers…do they simply propose incentives to make themselves look good or is it really for the benefit of others?

I’d rather the government supported everyone who wanted to have a child instead of just saying only married couples are entitled to have children. What happened to giving people more options and choices and letting them decide for themselves?

Each year, I look forward to two local political occasions. The announcement of the annual Singapore Budget and the Prime Minister’s National Day Rally. Held a week after the 9 August
National Day, this year’s National Day Rally on 19 August was interesting, to say the least.

The one thing that caught my attention was the PM’s call for more Singaporeans to start families. The birthrate each year seems to decline in tandem with Singaporean’s increased affluence. And now, we’re all expected to get married and pop out babies. Despite a really attractive carrot that is dangled to married couples, one wonders how these people are supposed to make babies when they are expected to work long hours to try to boost the economy and earn enough to keep themselves afloat. The harsh reality is that work-life balance or harmony is still somewhat of a joke here.

No one seems to be all that interested in having babies, really. Why add to your already growing list of expenses? Yes, so the government is giving incentives and helping to cut costs but still. Is anyone really inspired by this?

As usual, in the PM’s speech, there is almost nothing in terms of incentives for the singles. Oh, except for the fact that parents are now encouraged to help their single children make suitable matches in matrimony. Oh for god’s sake…that’s one step forward and three steps back, Singapore.

The one demographic that the Singapore government should be addressing are the Singaporean men. Sad to say, these bunch of guys seem to be stuck in an era that no longer exists. All they seem to do now is whine and complain that their female counterparts seem to want so much more. And of course we do! If you didn’t notice, Singaporean women now lead organizations, study, look after their families and yet, have the time to actually date. If we want something, we’d go out and get it. The time for waiting around for some man to give you things is past.

Just like the time of waiting around for some woman to come rescue you from single-hood… If you are wondering why Singaporean women choose to date foreign men these days, it’s because, they are looking for more than a just a flat mate. They also want an intelligent partner who can communicate on the same level as them. It’s about communication and interaction. Yes, we want love too and we want you to tell us how you feel and show it – you do realize that you don’t lose manhood by doing that, right? The material things…we can actually afford them now. What we cannot afford and don’t want is to haul your lazy asses around. So get those notions of living it up with rich, easy women out of your head. You sure as hell don’t know what you are in for.

In offering Singaporeans more incentives to want to start families, the government also has to look at its people. We, Singaporean women want to get married too and aspire for families but it’s the men who have to play catch up to us. Maybe the government should offer these men other incentives instead…like a book on dating for dummies. Mwahahahhaha…

But then again, perhaps, we should just leave these men behind…and let them stay as deluded as they are…cos really, they just don’t get it.