Is it worth it?

For some time know, I know that people can be weird in their own little ways.

If its not in the things they say, it could be the things that they do. Or how they choose to do things. In their mind, they are right. And of course, for who else is there to say otherwise?

I'm troubled. My close friend recently confessed that she's met up with my ex a few times now. And they've been having conversations. Do I like it? Hell no. But it seems that she has taken it into her own hands to see what the hell is happening with him. While she is of course free to be friends with anyone she chooses, what I'm not so thrilled about is that she is friends with someone that she deems is a bad egg. What's the point of being friends with someone you think will be a lifelong bastard?

When I heard about it, all I wanted to do was leap across the table and shake her by the shoulders while yelling WTF were you thinking? She later told me that he was going through a bad patch. So what? He deserves every little misery that comes his way. To me it's simple, if you hurt me, I hurt you back. If I made you bleed in the process, all the better. If circumstances just fell to pieces for you while all this is happening, tough shit. Grow some balls and take charge of your situation. No excuses. I don't want to see my ex again, but if I do, pardon the snide comments. Why? Because he had my trust once and he destroyed it. It sure as hell ain't gonna come back just because my close friend tells me a sob story. If people choose to tell me little stories, then I will snigger in response. Sincere forgiveness will only come if you personally apologize to me. Nothing else.

Harsh? Yes...why should I be anything else? I'm a harder person for all the nonsense that has happened to me and while sometimes its not all that great, it is what helps me survive. Its not about giving someone an opening, showing them my vulnerabilities or giving them power over me. If anything this is my way to showing people that I won't take anything lying down. I fight for me, because if I don't, who will?

What I'm truly baffled about is why is she doing this? To give him a second chance? To hear him out? To be his friend? WHY? When I did all that she mocked me, so why is she doing it too? Why choose to be friends with someone you deem to be a bastard? It's not like you didn't know what he did, you do, so? I could never tell her a single thing about him without her scoffing at me. So now, why suddenly change your mind and be friends with him? Is it worth it? What is the point of this whole exercise? I'm not going to stop her from being his friend but I am sure as hell not condoning it.

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P


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