What is it about relationships that is just so difficult?

Perhaps we're just a complicated species by nature. Perhaps we're just not that into each other or whatever, perhaps, we're all just kinda mad. Of the multitudes of relationships that I've heard of, come across and maybe even experienced, here are three main ones that I want to gripe about.

1. The traditional notion of a relationship: boy meets girl, falls in love and they get married and live happily ever after. Fairytale? Well, for some people, yes. This can happen but we all know that nothing is perfect. People work at relationships to make things good. But we are also aware of how the fairytale works out, don't we? There are the times of bliss and the times where you have to fight for the one you love and believe that you can make it. It's usually the people who don't believe in fighting who are the ones disappointed.
   
   
2. Then there is the one where the boy or sometimes girl, complicates things when there is simply nothing to complicate. While I have many examples, I will restrain myself to one. We have a man who is interested in two women, one where the woman was open to taking that step with him to pursue something new and another one where he was interested in the woman but is unsure about taking that step to take things further.The sad thing is, he is confused about who he wants and what he wants. I wonder in this case, will he ever make a decision? At the end of the day, one thing is clear. He is one confused man who has no idea what to make of things. Let me give you a tip. Nothing will happen if you don't take that first step. It's a leap of faith, ok? And yes, we get hurt sometimes, but nothing will happen if you don't try.
   
   
3. And then there is the one where the relationship simply exists online. Is this truly the evolution of the modern relationship? With so many social networks springing up online now, we've all heard of people or friends who meet online, eventually meet for real and marry or have concrete relationships but in all honesty, does this really work? How will you know whether to believe it if some guy online tells you that the loves you? Heck, he could say that to 10 other women. He could have women posting love notes on his Facebook page. Ha. Call me a cynic but I would much rather believe someone who tells me he loves me face to face over someone who only exists in an online relationship. I admit, it is sweet to have someone profess love but I don't believe you can truly know someone unless you meet them in person.
   
   Admittedly, it is much easier to meet people online than it is in person but still, technology takes away much of the essence of a person.
   

In less than 12 months, we've lost one beloved grandmother and two very close grandaunts in the family. While life continues its vicious cycle, I cannot help but feel a little numb. Maybe it's just me but I am sad that I will not be able to see or speak with Mama Koh again, no matter how cranky she is.

I just realized that there is no one to visit with at festivals, no one to nag me to get to church, no one to tell me that all men are evil (especially my father) and no one to snark with at gatherings anymore. And this realization...is heartbreaking.

A cantankerous old lady. she was 92 and the eldest of 10 sisters from a branch of the Cheok family tree. And one who ruled pretty much with an iron fist.The thing that we all remember most fondly about Mama Koh was the way she used to glare at us kids. She was one lady who could cow even the hardest hearted, all without uttering a sound. Crying babies and boisterous children always fell mute when Mama Beliak (Glaring Grandma) set her eyes on you.

Her outspokenness and sass was the one trait that we shared and that allowed us to talk freely about a number of things. She was the one person who talked me through some of the difficult times and although she didn't agree with some of my decisions, she gave me the space to sort them out. Well, she'd also nag me to death but as long as my ears didn't fall off, right?

Unlike most people who cannot get along or like their families, mine always had a sense of togetherness. Whether is the language or the culture or the wicked sense of humor, every single family member possessed her own special charm that made interacting with them special.

Mama Koh's passing over the weekend signals a major change.The sense of family and kinship which is so strong with the grandaunts around seems to be fading away with each of their passing. And although a good majority of us learnt the language, the cooking and are continuing the family traditions, it somehow feels different. Of course, we are very grateful that our parents and the rest of the family are still here to maintain status quo but the feeling that something is missing heightens, especially around the festivals. For who do you turn to to learn more about the vast family tree? Or a certain aspect of the culture?

It's the changing of the guard, I suppose that comes ever so once in a while. The family tree is not something for the faint-hearted. Alina tried her hand to draw just our branch and she ran out of paper, well paper plates. It seems that at every gathering and now even funerals that we encounter an aunt, uncle or cousin who has not seen us since we were knee high. It's challenging to remember so many people, especially since you see them only once a year.

But why so challenging, right? Here's the deal in a nutshell: Great grandpa married four wives who in turn had children. And since these were times that long surpassed us, each wife had A LOT of children. Imagine this, my branch of the family had 10 sisters...10. Explaining just this branch could take years because even I have not met every single one of them. Imagine doing the whole tree...good grief. But I digress...

I'm just feeling maudlin with so many of my grandaunts gone and no matter how much you prepare, deaths in the family are always a kick in the heart. Despite this, I feel that in sadness, you find the strength to appreciate those around you and love them more, no matter their faults. So here's to the changing of the guard, hopefully we know enough to maintain that family tree and are as memorable as those who have gone on to a better place.

Sometimes, you go to concerts to enjoy the music, the atmosphere, the sound... and sometimes you go to simply ROCK OUT! Or in the highly learned words of the Curse-dog, it is 'rock out with your balls out!' Which is exactly how me and almost 5,000 other concert go-ers did at Fort Canning hill on 7 April at the Kaiser Chiefs maiden performance in Singapore. Who could predict that they had more than three fans here? Ok ok, I will quit being snarky but that said. It was great...well, not as good as Coldplay who dropped by a few weeks ago, but still...

Bloody hot and humid weather notwithstanding, the crowd spent the night, singing off key with intermitted pogo-ing :o)



And to the powers-that-be...since Kaiser has such a huge fanbase here, how about bringing in Bloc Party, Interpol or even The Killers next? Please?