Stitched up

Sliced up, kneaded, crimped, stapled, pounded upon, stretched out, stuffed into and stitched up…the list goes on.

Sometimes, being a woman is kind of like being
Frankenstein’s monster. Why? Because in your own twisted way, you create your very own monster to fulfill your notion of beauty. And for once in my life, I can say I’ve actually succumbed to this. I’m not just talking about slapping on some make-up to enhance features that I already have but changing a major aspect of my lifestyle to accommodate something new.

No, I am not pregnant…oy! No, I didn’t get a pet…my mother is too afraid of the furries…before your imagination goes into overdrive, here’s a hint. It’s safe to say that if you chance upon me one of these days, I’ll be missing the one key element that I’m most recognized for.

Well, all the better to beliak at you with, as they say in my family. It’s a weird, if permanent adjustment that I’m still getting used to. I still touch the side of my temple or the bridge of my nose in fond reminiscence and actually spent the better half of five minutes this morning searching for my beloved abandoned appendage. Oh, that and the fact that I am still getting used to the stranger in the mirror.

All in the name of vanity, right? At least now, I can dance without chucking them into the audience, wear eye make-up and perhaps even wakeboard again. The weird effect that I’m still trying to live with is of course, the strange halo effect that hangs around the edges of things that I look at. Ok people, for once, you all can claim that you are angels. Heh.

Oh and if after reading all this you are still wondering what the hell I did, it’s
Lasik dah. Bodoh seh you, right? Tsk, tsk tsk…

The entire procedure was a quick and pretty painless. But harrowing for me…with my innate fear of needles, blades, and uh doctors, I actually managed to get a hold of my fears up until the last moment. This was after they held stuck down my eyelid and my eye in place with the corneal suction ring, then I heard the bloody metal blade go ‘schlep’ and almost fainted dead away…was too numb to even respond to the doctor and instead relied on hand gestures to indicate that I was ok.

The good thing is that, you can see the improvements straight after surgery. The fact that I could actually read my nurses’ name tag almost made me burst into tears. After 20 years in glasses, you cannot imagine the feeling of being able to see unaided. The feeling of like 'woa!' almost reminded me of the time when I went to bed with my glasses on and woke up thinking: "OMG, it's a miracle!"

Meanwhile, I’m resting at home, taking care of my eyes and trying to adjust to my new vision without trying to strain them overmuch. The girls on the other hand, are plotting things which I am afraid to name and will probably face sooner or later. Will probably turn me into the
Bride of Frankenstein, or something…They are scary, I tell you.

I suppose I'll worry about that when the time the meantime, I’ll be seeing you.

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Anonymous said...

Congrats on your freedom from your spectacles.... guess the feeling is like being given a new pair of eyes... would love to do lasik too but i also have to go for a plastic surgery as i look fierce without my glasses...

may you see the light...

Bitchy Witchy said...

Alamak...positivity, man! I somehow don't think you have to do plastic surgery though. Who is this by the way?

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P


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