Life in this town, it's such a joke

Ramadan for many Muslims it is a time to reflect and do good deeds, a time of abstinence, a time for family and tradition.

This year, I am breaking away from that tradition. Yes, I am giving up fasting.

Now, now, I can hear a gathering storm of "gasp, but why?!", "WTF are you thinking?!", "she'll fucking burn in HELL!" Before coming at me with your various brickbats, hear me out people.

I, for one have never been the most fastidious of Muslims and as far as practicing the religion, I fall waayy beyond the wayside. But I have been observing the traditions and practices since birth and so, I can't say that this is the easiest of decisions. This has taken me many years. I mean, look at me! Have you ever seen a more non-traditional Muslim around? Sure, I observe the no-pork rule but it looks like that's the ONLY rule. This coming from a girl who was famous for cutting religious classes, hey, I climbed a freaking fence to run off in my headgear and everything - call me an idiot but I looked like a bloody Casper escaping from his insane uncles. Can you believe that my parents thought that it'll do me well to do to religious school? Well, I can't blame them for trying.
The halal thing? Let's not even go there...

So what's the point of keeping up this farce anyway? I don't pray, I don't practice, I can't read a word of Jawi (yes, I know that the books come in English but that is not the point), I don't see myself doing the Haj thing, and boy, do I drink...Why pray if I don't have faith? Sure I can do the five times a day, I can recite the prayers, do the ablutions but empty words beget an empty mind and I just cannot do that. It has to mean something. I don't do the empty faith thing - Just like I don't pay a compliment that is not genuine.

I've seen and heard of many people just going to church or to the temple just because they have to - my parents want me to! Or better yet, only if they've sinned and need a recourse or if they need something. Hey God, I need a favour...what the hell is that about?

Why practice a religion, just because? Is it more a question traditional practices or that of doing something out of rote? Are you religious if you simply show up in church every Sunday? What happened to faith? Where does one's beliefs lie? Do you think God is like the Tooth Fairy? WTF people?!

Have I lost faith? Yes. Do I still see myself as a Muslim? Well, that bit needs to be figured out...I'm at a plateau where I can pretty much see whatever is there but I just don't know. I want to figure things out first before jumping into anything...Or even reaffirming my faith.

Sure, there are the friends who will go but you CANNOT do it! The mockers who go, well I knew she would do it anyway...And the detractors who will disbelieve anything.

To all y'all I ask, Why Not? I can't see myself doing something that I have lost faith in. Do you? I'd like to see people debate me on this one. I welcome a challenge.

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1 comments:

Newsandseduction said...

interesting work!

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P
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