When did we become so chickenshit?

Time for a little rant...

I’ve been listening to friends' dating stories lately and have observed how far people have regressed in terms of connecting with one another. At the heart of it all, we all want to connect with that special someone, to love and be loved.

But, how can we do it today?

The prevalence of dating apps, websites, social media and online articles makes the greedy greedier, feeds shallowness and worse of all, breeds irrational fear. So what are we afraid of?

Apparently, we are afraid of ourselves and of being vulnerable.  

We are self-obsessed and can’t seem to stop taking selfies. We obsess over our weight, or how we want our partner to look like or how popular we are or whether we can maintain some sort of cover lifestyle that is the envy of many. Even dating has become a chore. People have become so afraid of phrases like “dating”. They they need to distance themselves with words like “meeting”, “having coffee” or “hooking up” to the point that it trivializes the whole experience. 

I may be generalizing or drawing too much form my own experiences, but a whole bunch of people seem to thrive on the gratification in a casual or ‘open’ relationship as opposed to dating seriously. They then contradict themselves or confuse the issue by claiming that they still want to find their special someone, indicating that whomever they are with right now is a convenient option. The fear of commitment, of even showing up for a simple coffee, has become so irrational that it is ridiculous.

Call me traditional but when was the last time you made an authentic connection? Whether it is a friend or a random person you meet, I’m talking about a connection where you can share personal stories and actually talk to each other? When was the friendship more important than the need for another notch on the bedpost? Relationships have to evolve from some point, isn't it, there is no magic formula for happy-ever-after.

It makes me wonder if social media has stymied our need as people to make an authentic connection. Or has it instead made us more direct and selfish in our needs? Are we so fearful of things that we over analyze everything and end up alone because even taking that little small step out of our comfort zone is waaaayy too much work? 

There are no proper responses to these questions, I’m afraid. Just experiences we each go through. All I can ask or hope for is that people change the way they think. Instead of being so self-obsessed, how about focusing on what you bring to the table? How about going out and living a life, instead of showing how perfect your life is? Be authentic, be real! The experience, is worth way more than the Facebook likes, trust me.

And one more thing, vulnerability is not weakness... here's what I learned this week


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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P


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