This kind of experience is necessary for the learning

The experience as far as I'm concerned can also be a fucking bitter pill to swallow.

Overall, 2009 has been an outstandingly shitty year where the bad outweighed the good. Although the tide has turned for the better with work and I'm getting my footing at the new place. My personal life is closing 2009 on a quiet note and my friends are still crazy. Let's see how things go from here.

The good, as far as I can see were fantasic because I achieved some personal goals. Dancing on the Great Wall, performing in a regional salsa congress, learning to be a fireman, securing a job I wanted, visiting four different countries, having new experiences and getting reacqainted with old friends.

The bad, OMG, where do I start? From the shit exes, to fickle friends and the most amazing game ever in the old office. Everything that can and will go wrong with my personal life did. One major thing I discovered to working this out, is to trust myself because at the end of the day, this is my life. No one, no matter how many people I spoke with or confided in, will be able to solve anything for me. Everyone is out for themselves, and they will argue any problem to their advantage. Instead of talking to so many people, I should just take some time out to help myself. 


All these things made me think about what is important to me, of who I am and who are the most important people to me. It led me to come up with a list of affirmations/resolutions of sorts:

  1. Work. Supports and sustains me, gives me a purpose for which I am thankful for. It's up to me to make the best of what I have.
  2. Family. Is worth fighting for. But, I'm not keen on taking up ties that have been cut. Once you're cut, you're cut for good.
  3. Friends. Although I have patience (sometimes) and the compassion, it does not mean you should involve me in your personal relationships. Your relationships are yours, I am the sounding board and nothing more. You may also want to look at the last sentence in point No.2 in case you get any ideas.
  4. Values. My personal values are something that I live by. I do not expect anyone else to understand them and please don't ask me to explain myself to death if you don't. Respect me and i will reciprocate.
  5. Whatever. Is the most grating term ever! It is rude and dismissive when used at the end of sentences or to end an argument. I will try not to use this when talking to anyone. If I wanted whatever as an opinion, I won't be speaking to you at all.
  6. Patience. Will try damn hard not to roll eyes or pull any funny faces or gestures when people are being idiots. This patience thing has not happened yet as people have been rather idiotic lately. Damn hard to fulfil, this one.
  7. Weddings. I resolve to be less grumpy about all the wedding invitations that I receive from now. What is with all you people suddenly getting married anyway? Noah's Ark time, is it? Whatever the case, many hearfelt wishes to all the friends and family who have found their loved ones :o)
  8. Love. Is something that I am still open to, despite all the bad stuff that has happened. If the bad things made me a stronger person for surviving it, then the good things should make me more resilient for daring to open myself up to someone else. And if love doesn't happen for me? I am ok with that.
  9. Dance. Improve on what I have to be a stronger and better dancer. Dancing keeps me happy and makes me feel alive. Everyone needs a hobby that challenges them, just to keep you sane and on your toes.
That's enough grousing for now. The list is pretty good to go. Here's the thing about my resolution lists, they have to be short and manageable.

Heck, if mine got any longer, it will be a freaking novel. Ha.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"No one, no matter how many people I spoke with or confided in, will be able to solve anything for me." Shingz, don't you think that pulls more weight as we get older? But I still believe, and want to believe in genuine niceness!!!

Bitchy Witchy said...

It is true and sucky. The sooner we all realize this, the faster we can get to solving our problems. Self reliance, man.

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Ever prodded a sleeping dragon, only to have it whip up and bite you in the ass? Well, neither have I. But I advocate that you should try everything...once ;P
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